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female
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*eachBlonde7
writes: My boyfriend who is 43 years old has his own apartment. He has been staying at my house 100% for the past 3 months. He has bought a chain saw and took down 13 trees and helped build a regulation volleyball court in my yard. He paid for this court. He also pays to sod and seed...and he bought a grill and several manly tools all that would never be used in an apartment.lately he says i do not understand his need to have his own place and needs to sleep at home several nights a week and now he works all day saturday so i do not see him on weekends now.I am confused as there was this false hope of him loving the harry homeowner life and living with me to wanting his independence back.What am I to read from this? Yes I hate being alone so when he leaves now I cry and he says I do not understand him.He has to take care of him and be happy in order to make me happy he says now. But I have been taking care of him. I cook, do his laundry etc and now he wants the apt back a few nights a week.I feel I am clinging and he needs space but on the other hand if we were married where would he run to? I am hurt and confused by all this
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (3 November 2006):
 Hi BeachBlond7,
I do understand how u feel. Both of you staying together and now him wanting his own place is like moving backward in the relationship in the normal reasoning sense but from what i can read from your posting i think he feels you are the one taking care of him and wants to do the reverse. He wants to be able to take care of himself and you as well that is what will make him feel fulfilled.
I think u should try this for awhile and see how it goes and what happens. I know it is hard but i really do believe that he cares about you.just encourage him to make time for you and the relationship.Not working all the time.
I hope i was able to help abit
Take care dear.
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