A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello dear cupids,I am a bit mixed up. Been seeing a guy a few months. I brought up the subject of if we were together or not and think I may have blown it as at the time he said it was something he didn't want to talk about right now.Although we have seen each other since and we still get along really well. I invited him to my friends at the weekend and it was to go out with another couple and he said that he was worried as it 'was too coupley' and said he would prefer to do this at a later date.Since then I have more or less left it and he is currently away with work and gets back at the weekend. He sent me a text b4 he got on the plane saying 'spk to u when I get back, have a good week'. Do you think he wants to talk to me about us, is he still interested I wonder?We are in late 20's, haven't had much luck in relationships, I was in a long term relationship until few months back. He is very caring and affectionate and does treat me very well. He gave me the impression we were together beacuse of something he said, he is always hugging, kissing and holding my hand in public. Worried he is going off me because of the invite and because I asked about the status of us!! Help. Thanks xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2006): Hi there worried....I don't think you have blown it, you have been dating a few months, I assume you are seeing each other exclusively? I assume you are sexually intimate? And you want to know about us.
Well, that is perfectly understandable, but I often think us girls make the mistake of sleeping with a guy BEFORE we know if we are a couple or not, and that is the mistake that we make. (Has he said he is seeing you exclusively?)
I think your guy is just nervous about having deeper feelings for you, I guess my tactic would be to not put any pressure on him by asking him how he feels, but I would also back off, maybe even start dating around or not being quite so available...until he asked me for that committment of exclusivity....he is on the fence I think right now about whether or not he wants to be a couple.
Frustratingly, a lot of people don't have passion for people that they feel confident they have got wrapped around their little pinky, what builds their passion is the chase, the fact that you are a bit elusive as well, so if you think that is what is going on, be more elusive for awhile and see if that does not turn things around. Make him reach for you, make him work for access to you, stay in touch let him know you care, but don't be his beck and call girl.
Good Luck,
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