A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have really liked this one girl for about 6 or so months now, and we have got to know each other quite well. But i want more than just friends. i have tried hinting to her, but we are both rather shy and she has really low self esteem. My friend who is also friends with her says she is pretty sure she likes me, but dont want to show it because as her self esteem is so low she thinks that nobody would ever like her that way. I just want to show her i love her and show her how amazing she is but i just dont know how. any ideas from anybody?
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self esteem, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everybody, and i have asked her before if she wanted to go out for a coffee and she has accepted, and she is always inviting me to her concerts (she is in many orchestras) and giving me her free ticket. And the other day we left school together, and i was meant to be heading home, but i ended up walking in completley the opposite direction to home and walking her to her bus stop. This was partly me whejn i said i would walk with her a little bit of the way cause i had to get something from a shopping centre in town. And partly her when i said "i'll turn off here" knowing too well that it would take me the same amount of time as if i had gone with her, she replied with "no come this way with me, please, it will take the same amount of time :)" thanks for your help though one and all :)
A
male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 sometimes you just have to throw the obvious pass out there, brace yourself and see what happens. You have everything set up and all you have to do is act...sometimes thats the hardest part but Brunel is absolutly right, tell her what you told all of us.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (25 April 2010):
 I wouldn't get other people involved in your relationship like asking friend's opinions. The reason being is that they may tell you what you want to hear (to be polite) or maybe they just get it wrong and that would be disappointing! The best strategy is to ask her out for a coffee or something low-key, away from friends and peer-pressure! You don't have to say 'I love you, go out with me please'...rather, 'fancy meeting up for a coffee sometime?' and take it from there. If she likes you then she will accept.
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A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (25 April 2010):
Good on you and I complement the mature comments you have made. You are thougthful and mature.
I think you have to tell her what you have told us? That is a problem when girls /boys can not see things for themselves nad have confidence issues?
You will find this all your life at whatever age we get to. What you must be aware of is if she says 'no', it often happens that our feelings are not reciprocated, but we have to learn to accept it and move on.
My concern is that she may just wish to be no more than a friend, just because you want more will be a sure way of losing her completely.
Stand back now for a few weeks and try doing nothing and see what happens. If she misses your attention she will make an effort to convey that to you!
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