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male
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anonymous
writes:What is the best solution when one partner wants more sex than the other? My bf is still interested in sex and when we do have it we both enjoy it, but these days he is only interested once a week. I on the other hand feel like it about three times a week, which is how often it used to be. I asked him why he doesn't want to so often any more but he said he didn't know. He sees it as a problem but doesn't seem to have any solution/s.What is the best thing to do? I can see no other options than for me to just accept it and only have sex when he feels like it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): I understand where you're coming from!!!!
I think my boyfriend knows I want sex more than he does. In the first 3 months he wanted sex daily or every other day, now 6 months later he'd be good with once a week!! I'm more into 3 times a week, what happened?? He's even said I'm the best sex he's ever had!! I don't understand either!! He is a little quick, so I don't know if that's an issue. I can get "there" pretty fast, so that shouldn't be a problem. It bug's me, I'm use to guys wanting me more. I can understand if a couple has been together for 4+ years, bur not a couple together less than a year!!!!! :-(
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): im male and i want it at least once a day my partner wants it maybe once a week but we do have it more because she wants to keep me happy.it drives me nuts and she wants me to be less sexual i dont know what to do ether
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): You need to tell your man that you need to get your freek on. and as a man let me tell you that I take offense to your comment about "lazy men". Yes I am lazy after waiting in bed for and hour for her to come to bed after ER is over on the TV. And what about some sex in the morning, afternoon or early evening? Why only when a man is exhausted? And how bout suprising him with his member in your mouth when he wakes up? I have been asking for that for 18 yrs but never got it.....dont get me wrong - she loves to suck more than have sex most of the time. But my point is that we need to mix it up a little but make your kids take a backseat to us once in a while, yes we HAVE had very good sex upstairs while the kids are downstairs and there was plenty of time for both of us!!
Good luck !!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006): I am a guy who may be in a similar situation to your bf: I no longer have sex as often with my wife as before. She would love to have more - she often masturbates in bed next to me (pretending to sleep) to anwer her desires and I am sure she would love to have me give her more. I also come quite quickly now, to get it over with. We definitely have to talk about it seriously sometime, but I have been dropping hints for the past 2 years and getting a bit tired of it. Here are the reasons:
- She is still as beautiful as before, tall slim and not put on much weight at all (since our son's birth) but she doesn't try to look attractive any more. Her hais is rarely well cut on done up, she doesn't wear lingerie, she pretty much stopped epilating down there. And she expects me to be attracted?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks confusedinkent. It is early days yet but he does seem to be putting in a bit more effort. He is really tired after work, but part of this is him not going to be early enough.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): If you think that he wont give it a go then you need to tell him that he is being very selfish.
If he point blank refuses to EVEN try it, then you should tell him that your gonna book relationship giudence sessions and if he doesnt show then its over!.
if he does'nt seem to realise that this is putting pressure on your relationship then he cant love you as much as he says he does.
I know its hard but you really need to have a serious heart to heart with him, if he knew how you really felt and didnt just think you were moaning, then he should get his ass into to gear pronto!.
If hes not willing to make an effort then I'm afraid that it may be time to think about going your seperate ways.
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you xLeahx and confusedinkent.
We have been together two years and living together for almost one. I understand the old thing that in time it becomes less frequent but the thing is that this has only happened for one of us. I feel exactly the same and would like it just as often, while he wants it just occasionally.
I hadn't thought about it but think that increasing sexual activity could possibly increase his general overall interest, but I doubt he would even try. If he isn't interested he will absolutely 100% not do it. He'll avoid anything and everything that could lead to sex, make up excuses or find something else that has to be done there and then. I tried once for two times in the one weekend, and on the second time he very relluctantly agreed, I made him cum, he placed his hand on me and then fell aslseep, that was it, no goodnight, no nothing.
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A
female
reader, xLEAHx  +, writes (8 November 2006):
 Hi Anon,
Alot of couples are in this situation,its great if you both have the same sex drive as the other..but in most cases they don't..you can't really force someone to have sex when they don't want to..If your b/friend works then maybe its that tiring him, or prehaps he has things on his mind, if he does'nt know what it is, then maybe its just the way he is..it all depends on how long you been together as well..we all hump like rabbits at the begining of a relationship, but in time it slows down the libido drops.. if you find you are getting frustrated and don't want to nag your b/f into sex..then maybe try a sex toy to satisfy your needs.
xLEAHx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006): I can definately understand you here!!, me and my partner HAD the same problem.
I say had because its one that can be solved quite easily, but the main solution is MORE SEX, ok I know the problem is that you not having enough sex but in men the labido drops when they have been in a steady relationship for a while.
So I know it sounds silly but let me explain it a little bit more: when your body is used to having sex alot your labido is high and when you start a new relationship your both really buzzing with sexual tension and have sex all the time, but as your relationship progresses sex tends to drop and before you know it the body has got used to less sex hence your labido drops.Now this happens a lot more to men, THEY GET LAZY!. so if you increase your sexual activity to more than your body is used to and keep it going for a few weeks before you know it he'll be back to wanting sex just as much as you do.
I would tell him that its not like hes not going to get any enjoyment out of it!!. men always cum its us ladies that have the trouble orgasming.
Ok so try this out even if hes not really in the mood, tell him that if he loves you then he'll give this hes best shot, (that usually works!).
Ok good luck, if you want more advice feel free to send me a private message.
xx
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