A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone .. need you help =/ over th past few days ive been feeling like crap .. i have no confindence at all .... and i just feel really ugly =/ i just feel like crying =/ school has made it even worse .. im like madly inlove with one of my male teachers ... and when i see him talking to other girls it kills me cos he knows it makes me jealous.. ive liked him for 3 years now and he knows it.. i just hate the fact that there is way more girls that are prettier than me walking around the school with so much confidence! i envy them and it doesnt help at all that i have auburn hair.. i get called ginger nearly every day.. i use not to take any notice .. now i just want to dye my hair so much.. but my mom wont let me .. every day i dread waking up in the morning! i want more self confidence but just dont know where to start! please help!
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female
reader, j.c.d.l  +, writes (9 September 2010):
Tell your mum your being bullied about your hair, if she still wont listen dye it anyway, but that will still not fix your confidence. I love auburn hair i wish i had it! Its probly just your own dislike for it that make people make fun of it. Get a cool style, get interested in some new activities or interests and smile and be friendly. Im sure pretty girls walking around school have as amny insecurities as you do. Write down a list of 10 tings that your happy with about yourself.
A
female
reader, StrightsGaga +, writes (8 September 2010):
 hey, i'm basically nearly 16 and well i'm in the same boat, to get self confidence try talking to boys or other girls observe confident girls see how they walk,talk act honestly it will give you a piece of mind, and i bet your not ugly it'll just be how you feel down to self confidence honestly the girls won't be as pretty as you think, confidence is sexy and it draws people to you which is why they seem popular with everyone and always seem to have guys, just remind yourself you are pretty everyone is, confidence comes from within create it talk to random people older guys you'll build it that way, hope it helps and you get it back soon ,:)
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (8 September 2010):
Hi there. It's probably a phase you are going through.
What you feel for your teacher is merely a crush, otherwise known as infatuation. It's not real love. It's just a physical attraction to his looks, that's all. This is common at your age - mid teens.
Don't let it bother you that he talks to other girls. Bear it in mind that when he talks to the other girls, that it's probably in a classroom environment. It wouldn't be out in the playground during your breaks. Teachers usually go the Staff Room to have their breaks with the other teachers. Even in the playground where there might be a teacher on duty, it wouldn't be the kind of conversation that you imagine it to be, I'm sure.
It only seems much worse to you because you are infatuated by him, nothing more. In time, this phase will pass and you will get mixing with boys your own age, with whom you will have much more in common.
In the meantime, just try to make your own life as interesting as it can be and mix with your own friends more and have fun and laugh.
Attraction has nothing to do with looks. It partly does to begin with to make a guy come over to you and start talking, but once you have met and introduced yourselves, there is a whole lot more to attraction than a pretty face. True beauty comes from within. Having confidence, independence and your own life and interests. A good personality and a healthy sense of humour, and being open and honest, caring and respectful. These are all the really good qualities for a person to have. These are the things that really keep people interested in you and want to be with you.
Just believe in yourself. We are all equal. No-one is any better than anyone else. Remember that. You deserve to have the best you can have and to be the best that you can be.
When you believe in yourself, then anything is possible in life. Your own confidence far outweighs physical looks - it will radiate from you and it will show.
Another good thing is to be happy and positive. Also, be thankful for all the good things in your life.
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (8 September 2010):
 You probably know what I'm going to say, first of all, you are wasting your time chasing after a teacher, thats a no no area. Theres lots of things you can do with your hair to improve your self confidence, lots of products on the market, without having to dye it. Go and see a professional hairdresser and see what they can advise. My ginger haired friend had a nice cut and blonde streaks in it and it looked lovely, it looked like it was blonde with red streaks when they'd finished. But there'll be lots of options to explore. You are going through similar experiences to a lot of girls of your generation it's a process we all go through before we mature a bit more. Only thing is you will feel that you are the only one feeling this way and no one will convince you otherwise. Try to get involved with other things to take your obsession away from the teacher. Is there any after school clubs you could attend or activities on a weekend with friends. Try to talk to your mother about how badly you feel and she will help you hopefully as mothers should. Can you talk to someone at school about your confidence, a female trusted teacher? Hope this helps.
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