A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So i asked this girl out about a week ago. She said no but we still talk and hang out and stuff so we're still cool. But i cant get her out of my head. I mean im always thinking about her because i really do love her. I want to try and show her that but im affraid that she might think that im obsessed and stop talking to me and i really dont want that to happen because she really is a great friend. Is there anything i can do without ruining our friendship? Or should i just accept it and try to move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo the way i see your answers and please, by all means correct me, i should keep hanging out with her but try to find out things she likes or likes to do and kind of use them to try and start a spark in her heart?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): chillax. she knows you are way into her (: give her space.. let her miss you and make the next move. Until that happens, lo.Ok around and ask sombody else out.
( neVer make someone a priority when your jest an option)
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 November 2010):
 First, I totally understand how you feel. You're right - chasing her hard and heavy will jeopardise your relationship and possibly your friendship.
Second, the approach you take now pretty much hinges on why she said no. Does she already have a boyfriend? Do you have a girlfriend already? Did you used to date one of her friends? These are big questions.
Third, assuming she said no because she doesn't like you that way, I suggest a much more subtle approach. Back away from her *just* slightly as you're going out, and try to read her - her interests, her passions, what lights her up. Then as friends, go do things that she really loves, and she'll equate being with you to being really happy. You totally do not have to pour on the feelings, but rather fan HER feelings for you.
One thing you really have in your favor is that even if she doesn't now have feelings for you, the thought of a guy who really loves her and thinks she is beautiful can cause her heart to respond to you, slowly buy surely, because that feeling of being loved and wanted is intoxicating.
Just don't overplay your hand, and while you're with her, get her to open up about her feelings (not necesarrily for you), hopes and dreams, and that sort of thing. That accomplishes two things. One, she'll grow closer intimately with you, and two, you will see new things about her.
If she used to date your friend, or she has a boyfriend, or you have a girlfriend though, you might want to turn your attention elsewhere, because that can get really sticky.
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