A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok hey, basically I want know how I can get me and this lad to become better friends and talk more. The thing is he dont talk to me much but i dont get why.Its kinda a long story....Basically last year i thouht he liked me n others did to, he told a m8 of mine he didnt n we forgot about it. Then some problems have been caused with peopl winding him up over the fact i like him so much n we've talked about this. A group of us went out together one night and thn the next week he said to this lad that went ith us i wanna be gd m8s wiv her. Anyway i got told just before xmas he still liked me n did do back then last yr but i told a m8 to keep his mouth shut but he didnt which caused more probs but anyway me n this lad sorted it.He said how sorry he was and that he doesnt hate me..he said "i dont hate u, i love u as a m8 always have n always will" n thn he said other stuff and went on to say i really like u as a m8 and that he dont care what others say and that he wants to start again and be really gd m8s. He said this also " it would break my heart to not know you". It was all abit freaky cuz it seemed over the top really and the fact the word LOVE was mentioned just knocked me back!Now these thing seem proper genuine...anyway we got back to college and on that first day it was like he was really making an effort, the next was terible, yea he was tired tho. Thing is we dont talk much in person or on msn at all. We jsut never seem to have stuff to talk about. The simple what you been up to won't work with him, hes quiet in general but like the lads in the class(theres 2) he just rambles on about anything, yet he wont with me. yea ok theyre lads!But surely if he wanted to be good m8s with me he'd wanna talk to me n do things with me. Like i asked if if he;d like to play pool n he said nah im alright yet the week before xmas he was all for it and we went to this gig toegther, well not together he asked if i was going and i decided to go and we had such as gd time. infact he was abit over friendly, and then that night on msn he started talking to me and everything as if we were the best of friends but since then it went back to how we were.He is kinda quiet and we do have stuff in common but i just dont know what to say to him in a lesson when hes quiet or on msn incase he dont reply. And im always worried he gets annoyed with me. Like he'll wait for the lads he not for me n stuff i dont get it. Hes a lovely lad and once we get talking we do sometimes have good conversations. We go out in a group sometimes and its the same then but once he gave me a lift home and once it was just me and him in the car he made the effort to talk and everything. yea he still shows he likes me but that got very confusing so ive just left that subject. But if anyone ever says anything about him used to like me he wont talk about it. Anyway how do i get him to talk more and if i get him to talk will it help with other things like doing stuff toegther if i jsut get him to talk to me more? Why is it so different with me to the others, he says he loves me as a m8, im struggling to see that! please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): Well...he repeatedly mentioned the word "mate" so unfortunately I think that's all you're gonna be. If he doesn't talk to you or make an effort then it's not looking good. Just keep talking to him casually. You're in the same situation as I was last year and I know how bad it is. Just...do stuff with other friends and don't stress about him or try and force anything - he'll get annoyed if you're always in his face. If you try to be friends then you'll get closer. As for love..well, he isn't being a very loving friend. You may be better off without him, but that's for you to decide. Sorry I'm not more useful. x
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