A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have been living with a great guy for about 1 year now. He's hard-working, open, honest and seems to care about me genuinely. The problem is, he's not very affectionate and I'm the type of person who likes to have affection. You know little things like holding my hand when we're out on the town. Or patting my butt when he walks by me in the house. Or coming up behind me and placing a kiss on my neck when I'm working on the computer or paying bills. Just little interjections of affection throughout the day or at least, every couple of days would be nice -- little things like touching my hand or arm when we're sitting next to each other, stroking my hair or my face when we're talking. Because without these things, I feel like I'm nothing more than just a gal-pal he hangs out with. We rent movies, we cook dinner together sometimes, we visit clubs where live music is available but he just doesn't seem to have any real physical chemistry for me and he hardly ever "flirts" with me and makes me feel like I'm his girlfriend. Our sex life has always been good and until recently, we had sex often(like almost every night) but lately it's more like once a week or less and I miss it tremendously.I've tried to talk to him about my feelings but nothing really changes. He says he's too busy to think about things like that and believes romance is overrated and what really matters is that we spend time together. I can't shake the notion that he's just not that attracted to me. Or am I just being too needy?.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006): he might be cheating on u
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): "What really matters is you can spend time together?" come on you know thats not right!I dont think its worth telling him how you feel anymore unless you wont to come across as needy you need to realise your own worth and know that if affection from him is your aim there is a way to get it its not by telling him though!Its by saying with your actions "I'm worthwhile" like its not being too focused on him being un-affectionate being focused on you your Talents your fun times away from your man suddenly he'll scratch his head and think "oh why is she not noticing and saying Baby be more affectionate with me" he likes you being needy for him its like a game of cat and mouse but I dont belive hes just not that sort of romantic man romance is natral and if hes got feelings for you they would show up natrally anyway he just needs to be trained with your "Im worthwhile" actions.
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A
female
reader, bumble bee +, writes (3 October 2006):
maybe you need to realise that romance isnt in his nature, or you can try and teach him by showing him what you want and how nice it makes you feel by doing the things to him. or as you are talking put his hand on your face or ask him to stroke your hair. as your at the computer and he walks passed pull him in to give you a kiss on the neck. if you continue to do this in time it might become a habbit, or he could just get annoyed with you. he is your bf you should know if itll work or not.
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