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male
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anonymous
writes: me and my Lady just recntly broke up... I WANT HER BACK SO BAD! She says we can be just friends and if anything happens in the future it happens. but i dont know if i should give her space to possibly make her realize how great we were together(do know what you got till its done). or if i should still call her and want to do things together. i love her and i want her back and i know she still cares for me. What do i do?
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (29 May 2006):
 I agree with Hopeful, just respect her decision for the time, if you insist on what you want, she wont be happy with that. You need to give her the time and space she needs, if you try and beg and plead with her she will get frustrated and it could cause more harm than good. As she says, if in the future you are to be together, it will be. Take care. xXx
A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (29 May 2006):
 Hey sweetie
I really feel for you here, cause i think we have all felt how your feeling at the moment its hard... but sweetie you have to be strong here.. there is a saying if you love something, set it free... basically i know its hard but you have to give her some space and time to get on with her life and get her head together she obviously asked for time apart for a reason i think you have to respect that here honey i'm sorry.
I hope my advise helped you a little.... stay strong
You Take Care Sweetie X
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (29 May 2006):
 There were reasons that your ex-girlfriend wanted to break up. Has she articulated them? If she has, really think about them as if you were her. In the debate within your mind you will come up with rebuttals to her reasons - suspend them. The rebuttals will only reinforce your view of things, and will not help you to see her view. At this point, the only thing that you can expect from this relationship is to learn the reasons why it did not succeed. Your ex has asked for space, and you should respect that request.
Her reasons may uncover something about you that you cannot or will not see. If this is the case, and you are able to gain insight about yourself, this will serve you well in future relationships.
It took me twenty years to identify a failing in me that contributed to the demise of a relationship that ended all those years ago. Now that I can see it, I have vowed to address this failing in all of the relationships I have in the here and now.
By the by, my failed relationship rose from the ashes. We never got back together, and things were decidedly chilly for a few years, but we now have a close friendship. We were not meant to be life partners, but we are nonetheless souls that are mutually connected and meant to be lifelong friends. It took several years for me to come to that understanding.
I wish you well, and hope that you can take something away from your relationship that will help you in present and future relationships.
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A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (29 May 2006):
 If she says she wants to be friends and take some time apart - you should respect that.
Perhaps she is feeling confused and needs some time alone to think about life, what she wants, what she is looking for etc.
If you want to communicate how you feel, perhaps you should write her a letter and explain that you want to respect her decision to take a step back and see what will happen but you want her to know how you feel.
If she still cares and wants to start something up again, this allows her to take that step.
If she still needs some time to think, you are not pressuring her or making her feel obligated.
You can't make someone get back together with you - you need to allow her some time and space to think if she really wants to get back together.
I know its hard but you need to allow her some time.
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