A
male
age
41-50,
*anny1977
writes:Hi folks. Is it possible to win back an ex-girlfriend after a break-up? I was with a girl for about 3 months. The last 4 weeks we had no contact on account of her having exams. This resulted in a row on account of my lack of contact which was seen as indifference. I explained that i thought i was doing the right thing and she agreed to meet me again. We met for dinner and it was fraught. Lots of small talk. I didn't adddress the situation for fear of making it worse and even though she agreed to meet me again i knew what was coming. (she refused to accept a gift i had got for her) For a week she didn't answer my calls and barely responded to my texts. I finally pinned her down to another date last thursday. I bumped into her outside the pub and she looked startled. She said she wouldn't be going in, that the last time we were out for the meal was not good. There was no 'spark'. (When i had met her for the meal my parents were having marriage difficulties so my mood wasn't great, i told her this at the time.) Heres where it gets muddled.. I suddenly found this assertiveness and said yeah, its no problem, thanks for telling me to my face etc. I also let her know that my parents marriage had ended that day so this rounded off the day nicely. (cheap shot i know) She goes all teary eyed and says (you guessed it) 'Can we still be friends?' As we get on 'really well'. She wouldn't want it to be awkward if we were out together. I said that it wouldn't work, thanked her again for being straight with me and said i had better go. She was just standing there dumbfounded, tears in her eyes. I walked on past her.. Our relationship was strange. I was never the most assertive of types, was over-apologetic for mistakes i made and was fearful of loosing her. She picked up on this, and obviously this became a turn-off. I think she was expecting me to fall apart but it didn't happen. I haven't contacted her since then and have heard nothing from her. Any ideas? To be honest i kind-of devasted. My life has been blown to hell this week. I want her back. Do you think there's a chance? If so what should i do? Has anyone gotten back with and ex and if so what made you do it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): Well getting back with someone is never easy, your relationship is not the same as it was in the beggining but its not like there has been cheating in this relationship, so you maybe in with a chnace of starting again but i will warn you that she might bring up the past which is k cos its needs to be talked about but if you don't want then here is my advice.
Ring her or if you know where she lives go round and see her ask if you can talk to her. Start off with saying sorry for how you acted and that you weren't your self. Next ask if you can go out for drinks at some point exchange numbers if ness. When you are with having a drink with her and you suddenly remember what you guys had at the start of your relationship, then ask if you can go out for dinner and then maybe she might see you as the person she use to love and you may up back together,if so great.
Another warning if at any point you don't feel that you love her any more then just say that it would be nice to go out again at some point as friends.
Hope i have been of some help.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): getting back with ex's is a bit of a shady area i have done it before (it only lasted a month) but at the end of the day if it wasnt meant to be it wasnt mean to be!
think of it this way if you got back with her you wont have sex for ages but the relationship side of it will pick up where it left off- therefore you two noticing all the annoying habits without the inimacy
the likelyhood is that you will find a new girl soon who appreciates you better and isnt so much of a tease!
good luck
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