A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My GF left me because she wants to "live life worry free and have fun" a few days ago which has me confused and hurt as it is, she said that i scared her when i said i wanted to settle down...she saw no future in me aswell. i keep trying to convince her to stay but she just goes blank or says she misses me agrees with me on my arguments but changes the subject...i leave the subject for a little bit and try to detatch from her, have fun and enjoy myself a little bit, then she comes back and says she misses me! whats going on???not only that, she now says shes horny and wants to have sex with me! its confusing me even more, she's being very hot and cold, we make plans, she limits me to seeing her at the pub because she does not want a date setting, she blows me off last minute because she go a better offer from her mum or a couple of ex boyfriends, i want her back and this makes me angry, long for her and makes me cry profusely in the night because i really want her back, was happy with her, and thought she was happy aswell... im so confused, help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your help
yes, i am very infatuated with her, she is someone i adore and love.
i have told her i wish to just be friends for now and see where things go, i have also told her about how her wanting to have sex with me again is re-opening my wounds when im meant to be trying to heal and that it gives me false hope etc. she says she dosent intend to date or deliberatly meet other people and just suck face with them, she just wants to make friends etc.
she sometimes told me she feels im too restrictive and would be made like shes being interrogated when i aks her how her night went, trying to make convo.
thank you everyone to shed some light on what i should do. she said she would give me 2 weeks of No Contact and i can ask for more if i want more...she did argue with me though saying that i'm trying to control her again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): This girl does not want to be with you. This is about her insecurities. You are on the back burner for now. Do you really want to be with someone that treats you this way? I feel you deserve better. When a girl says she wants to live worry free and have fun - she means it. Live worry free means being able to go out... dance, makeout, whatever with a guy and not worry about feeling guilty. She comes back around (probably when she feels guilty) and says she misses you because she is insecure of losing you. She would be losing someone very infatuated with her - so it's a lot to lose. Find someone better. You deserve it.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (3 October 2010):
 Okay, it sounds like she doesn't want to be with you, but enjoys having sex with you when she needs to burn off that extra horniness. You are her ultimate back up plan and she blows you off if something better comes up.
You are not going to get her back by being so available. I'm not saying that you'll get her back at all, but you can't let her take advantage of you and use you for sex. Don't be at her beck and call! What are you getting out of this? Canceled plans and a broken heart.
She doesn't see a future with you, so take her out of your future plans. Start moving on with your life, and stop having sex with her - the more sex you have, the more emotions will crawl all over you, the more confused and upset you'll get. Don't go through it! You deserve much better than what you're getting from your ex. Good luck!
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