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female
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*adywolf
writes: My husband and I have been happily married for 10 years. our daughter is 3 and we always talked about having other children, but now my husband is adamant that he does not want another. I am gutted, but love my husband and daughter too much to leave. How can I deal with this ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): hi i am in kind of the same situation, me and my husband have been married for 7 years we have two lovely daughters aged 6 and 3. there absolutley gorgeous and we both love the bones of both of them, i would love another baby maybe the chance to try for a boy but evan so it wouldnt bother me what sex the baby is as i would love it as much. my husband just keeps sayin no when i bring the idea up, he just replies were only 25 and weve got the hardest part over with the kids as thy are older now. we both run a business together so the money situation is good, he jut keeps saying he wans to spend time with me, is he saying no because he scared the baby would take up all my time again? hes so good with children, i just dont understand.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): hi, I am having the same problem. MY husband and i have been together 3 years and both have other children from previous marriages. When we got together he said he would love children even though we are forty. now we have our daughter and i would love another baby and he just says no!! and theres no discussion. I feel rejected some how and I feel he should at least discuss this with me. I feel for you as its really difficult as a woman with all the strong urges biologically to be a mother. My husband uses condoms and each time he does I feel terrible especially in the middle of my cycle. It is a over whelming urge that it takes over really. I suggest you talk to your husband and ask him to explain why he feels this way. Good luck Amanda
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2007): I am having the same problem. I have been married for 3 years and have a 2 year old daughter. Before I married my husband we had decided we would have 2 or 3 but now he doesn't want any and I am devastated. I asked why and he does not have a reason other than the famous, " I just don't want to." I am hoping that maybe he will change his mind in another year or 2 but since I just turned 36 I really don't want to wait much longer. I am crying all the time and avoiding him. I know we have to talk but I cry to easily now. I am very afraid that if I don't have another baby that I will end up hating my husband in 5 or so years because he is denying me the opportunity and forcing my daughter to grow up alone. I am an only child myself and know how hard it is to be alone especially when you are a confused teen and young adult. Help me please!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2006): You may find that there is one of 2 things going on here. firstly, your husband may be enjoying getting you back now that the hectic part of baby raising has passed. Maybe, he found the whole thing exhausting and is not quite ready to repeat the experience.
Secondly, maybe he felt a little pushed out after you had your child, which is very common, even a little jealous of the time and attention you gave your child.
The important thing here is communication. Have you asked him why he is so against this? If you understood his reasons, you may be able to allay his fears , but be prepared to wait a little longer for him to warm up to the idea.
having children is exhausting, but rewarding and many couples forgot who they were before they come along.
You need to invest in the relationship with your husband, for example, have Saturday nights as your night, nice ,meal, bottle of wine, watch a film at home, go out etc. have quality time together once a week.
Once you two have reconnected then you'll be able to talk more freely. Once tat happens, keep the Saturday night thing going- it's important.And your child will realsie that that's what grown ups do when tehy love each other.
Hopefully, you will get to the bottom of his anxiety.
We felt the same and we have 3 gorgeous children!!!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (17 October 2006):
 Why does your husband not want to have another child? Is it financial or just that he doesn't like all the hassles involved with child rearing?
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A
female
reader, !x!T!x!  +, writes (17 October 2006):
 you say youve been happilly married for 10 years and you have a beautiful daughter so why the need to change things this might just cause more upset and grief. and if you left you might realise you had just what you wanted and even if he took you back things might never be the same no matter how hard you both worked at it, so why ruin a good thing, let i go for a while you never know how the situation might change. good luck !!
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