A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone :) Well my issue is that currently I am a 22 year old female and I have lost interest in sex with my bf. I used to have a high stress job on top of college so I blamed it on that. Now my job is much more relaxed and I even have days off! So he tries to start stuff but I find it too much effort to even give in and when I do I don't enjoy it. It wasn't like that before because we used to have a great sex life! And I still enjoy sex as I masturbate and watch porn as have the desire to masturbate!! I've also tried talking to him and telling him that just sticking it in is not fun for me... And then when he wants sex he starts to touch me or hump me and I just find it uncomfortable it's usually very late at night and Im tired or trying to sleep and I fake to sleep or just tell him it's so late THEN he starts to whine and moan on how I hate him and never want to sleep with him but that makes him even more unattactive to me!!! I want a strong man who takes action when I tll him I'm not interested and don't. Know why.. What can I do? Any help appreciated
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2012): I think the problem isn't that you don't want sex but that the activity with HIM is unpleasant for you because he's being selfish and inconsiderate and that's a big turn off. So whenever he now tries to start something with you, you're immediately thinking of how inconsiderate he's being and that shuts you down immediately. and of course the more he whines the more selfish he's seeming because he's only focused on what he wants and has no respect for how unpleasant it is for you.you have to tell him all this because he may not know how he is presenting himself to you. maybe he really is selfish and inconsiderate, if so you have the right to tell him, and he has the right to know this valuable information about himself so he can decide if he's going to change his attitude or not.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2012): I want an honest woman who will tell me what she wants in bed and then be willing to let me attempt it, but what can I do? Instead, you ladies get bored, stop putting out, and then complain about wanting "another man." Often, us guys are also thinking about "another woman" and that other women is typically the one we married, not that hussy at the office. However, the wife/girlfriend won't put out and we can do no right by her even though our very touch used to ignite her passion.In all seriousness, your situation is very common. It's why there are so many women that no longer sleep with their husbands and at the heart of it is not that your husband is fat, that he is a bore, or anything of the like. It's that you stopped communicating.You said sex used to be great, so what changed? I don't see where you are making an effort at all except to say that it is uncomfortable and "not fun." Great way to crush his enthusiasm. I would think you hated me, too. Criticism needs to be constructive. I would start by telling him: "Our sex life used to be so good, but lately I feel it needs a charge. I'd like to spice it up. Why don't we....?" Then follow through with it and don't give up if you try it once or twice and it's not working for you guys.If more wives and girlfriends did that then I think everyone would be a lot more sexually satisfied.(This goes for asexual husbands, too, but this is a much less common problem.)
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (11 February 2012):
 Well, first of all, you need to tell him that you aren't having fun, and then ask if you guys could do something besides just him "sticking it in".
You said you like to masturbate, so perhaps you could ask him to just touch you, and guide him to the places you like.
Most likely, it's because he's only thinking of himself in this, and doesn't realize that Penis into Vagina =/= orgasm for women, most of the time. I'm almost positive if you got him to do other things for you first, and got you all hot and bothered, you'd be more willing to have sex.
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