A
male
age
,
*nowleopard
writes:I was widowed last year and have recently met someone else. We agreed it to be as friends but i find myself wanting to be with her more and more.We have planned a short break in a couple of months but have booked separate rooms as she doesnt seem to want a physical realtonship yet. She is quite happy for us to walk out arm in arm or hand in hand even when we are with her children and doesnt seem to mind me putting my arms round her in front of the kids.I am meeting some of her family soon,I feel i would like to turn this into a serious relationship but not sure if she wants the same or wonders if i might be acting on the rebound.We text each other most days.What do do next?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): The only thing to do is to ask her if she wants to take things further. Also, ask yourself if this is a rebound thing. You have to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with anyone else. Try to look into your sub-conscious mind for the answer.
Things could dramatically change between you in the period between now and when you go off on this short break, because by then you might have moved on from being just friends to lovers. It's possible she's thinking the same things that you are, but like I said, you need to ask her.
Did you assume she'd want separate rooms when you booked? If so, ask her if she's happy with that arrangement or if she'd prefer a double room if you get past the stage of simply holding hands etc. I can understand you wanting to tread carefully and not be too forward with her, but with any luck she might bring the subject up herself in the next few weeks, and then you can tell her how you feel about it all.
A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (21 June 2009):
 I think you guys need to give it time, it was only last year you were widowed and its natural for everything to be given time, not rush into anything.
I think the lady in question has given you a chance, by spending time with you, so dont pressure her into a serious relationship until she feels ready for it. Im sure she'll let you know when she is ready.
until then enjoy it!
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (21 June 2009):
 Do exactly what you have been doing as this is clearly working for you. The intimacy you both show in public indicates that you are far closer to a solid relationship then you realise. She wants to take things slowly and you need to give her the space to do that. Don't worry about the single rooms, if she is ready you will be asking for a double but if not be glad that she has gone away with you as you are obviously a very special person to her.
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