A
female
age
36-40,
*atalie_19
writes:hi everyone, i have a problem.. i really really want and feel ready for a baby, trouble is i wont let myself be close to anyone as i fear sex so much, and as soon as i think things are going to lead that way.. i sort of freeeze! it sounds odd but its like i'm afraid of something and i dont no what i just go tense.. this is a vicious circle. can anyone offer any advice? i would like to get into a serious relationship and let things develop but the thought of it gives me butterflies already..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): i feel the same way and cos of abuse as a child i cannot get physically close to a man, i have opted to go for a donor to help me with mine i wish you all the very best and good luck
xx
A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (29 January 2008):
 First of all, you feel ready for a baby, but if you can't get close to anyone... that means your not. Do you have a boyfriend/fiancee/husband? Without them your not ready, its wrong to bring a baby into a world without a dad....The fear is a psychological issue, and it means your not ready either. x
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (29 January 2008):
Let me take a different angle.There's nothing wrong with you.Everything is ok with you.It's really normal to crave a baby in your arms.First ask yourself how ready you are for a baby sometimes it may be a fantasy you live with.If 100% +ve you are ready.My resolution is that you have just not met the right person who'll drive all those fears aways.Wish i's that person! Give yourself time,you'll soon meet sum1 who'll chase away all those fears.
Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, xylplxym  +, writes (29 January 2008):
Well your fear is probably due to some psycological issue that you should not try to solve with an internet site. But regardless, this fear should not keep you away from having the joy of a child in your life. Why don't you try adoption? I don't know how comfortable you are with this but it is always an option you ought to seriously consider.
I do find you interesting though; you feel that you are ready to accept one of the purposes of sex yet you fear the act. Most people only feel ready for the pleasure of sex and fear the consequence (well purpose really) of getting pregnant. I can't help but have respect for your readiness to accept parenthood. However it takes more than a strong will. It requires things like financial backing, maturity, patience, and above all love. If you these then sure, go for it.
I really don't know what to tell you about having a serious relationship because if you do find yourself in one and you get married, guess what, you're gonna have sex or the marriage is not consecrated. And I realize marriage might not be something you want, but in my opinion getting married (granted, for the right reasons) is probably the best way to tell if your partner is goning to be as devoted to you and your child as you are. But then there is still the issue of your fear; a problem you should work on at some point or another and seek REAL help not a web site.
Of course, you could find somebody that loves you enough to marry you, accept a child thats adopted and not theirs, and wait until you have overcome your fear to express his love sexually to you. I rather doubt it. So perhaps you should let having relationships rest for a while, adopt, and work on being a parent first if you are truely that willing to foster a child. An important thing to remember is that single parenting works, but only if you want it to.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Maybe , you can Google 'Fear of sex" and you will find the materials you need.
Or you can try this online site ;-
About Sexual Aversion, Sexual Phobia and Fear of Sex
http://www.sexwithoutpain.com/sexual_aversion,_phobia_or_fear.htm
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Hi,
I think there are some more serious problems here than you being scared of sex.
first , why do you want a baby at your young age? You are obviously not married or in a relationship so why the desire to be a single mum? I feel you have intimacy issues that need to be addressed professionally
Secondly,you are scared to have sex. Yet you are willing to have unprotected sex with someone in order to get pregnant. There are just so many contradicitons here I dont know where to begin. I really think you should see you doctor and get some professional advice.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Something might have happened in your youth to you or you might have seen something that caused you to fear sex today. You need to go talk to a therapist about your problem so that you can move on in life and in your relationships. I sorta understand because I have a disturbing loss of memory of my past and I want to know why I can't remember. Just go talk to someone and get help. You can't just ignore the problem.
I hope you resolve your problem.
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