A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm not overweight at all, but my boyfriend's thighs are smaller than mine! He looks emaciated, and when we makeout his hip bones hurt me! His waist is soooo small! And get this, he says he's stronger than me! Yet he never lifts weights! He says he's bigger too! I don't think so, taller, yes, but bigger, no! When I look at him when he's sleeping I'm grossed out by how bony his shoulders are. He loves me and I thought I loved him at one time, and he treats me right, but why am I all of a sudden not attracted?! If he has his shirt on and i look into his eyes, it's not so bad. I mean, he's not ugly-his face is actually kind of cute and I was attracted to him when we first met. I thought my previous boyfriend was ugly when i first met him, (he was skinny at first too), but then he worked out when we were together, and got bigger and now i find him more attractive even though he was balding and treated me like shit. What do i do?! i thought i was going to marry my boyfriend, he wants to, and now i feel too bad about breaking up with him because he is so nice to me, and i don't see how my mind changed.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (7 August 2008):
 Well it could be two things...
1-You had Romantic Love with him, and not Real Love. In Romantic Love a person had their ideal partner in mind and superimposes it on the person they date. Once the illusion wears off, they see a real person and feel disappointed.
or...
2-When you first met he was doing things/saying things that addressed your emotional needs that he is not doing now. This means that you felt more like his lover at first, and then you feel more like his mother now. This will happen if he changes the way he acts with you over time.
If he did not change his behaviors, it is likely #1.
-Frank B Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): Sometimes things change. You can't blame yourself. Look in the miror & ask yourself if you could really live without him. Could you wake up in the morning knowing that you weren't with him anymore & not feel bad about it? I don't mean not feel bad for him but for yourself, would you regret letting this one get away? If you love him enough & he loves you back then his looks won't matter but if you are doubting his looks then maybe it's not true love. Maybe it's not meant to be. You decide.
Good luck!
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