A
female
age
51-59,
*rishiwishi
writes:What do you do when you feel as though youre in a loveless marriage to a man who says he provides me with shelter, health insurance, and pays the cell phone bill and car insurance. but is totally emotionally unavailable. he makes me feel like a worthless person. when i tell him that. his reply is, i can't make you feel anyway. he's strong on his own and doesn't need anyone to make him feel good because he loves himself. and because i have depression issues and i'm on an antidepressant that if i tell him how he makes me feel he points to his head and says to me that's because i'm not normal it's my twisted mind making me think and feel the way i do. which angers me even more all we do now is fight even in front of the kids, he stays calm with his cocky tone of voice til i yell in front of the kids. i hate doing that i know i should walk away, but if i do walk away i feel like he is thinking it's okay to talk that way to me. so i stand and fight or defend myself. everytime i say something he talks over it. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): try more of your antidepressant and you wont feel the need for him,but youll be a robot that suffers later,is he loyal,or take you for granted,is it real love ,or bits ,a routine ,if he gave you what you want then will you be happy ,content ,out of pain,not sure ,spread your love.maybe he hasnt got what you need ,till your gone ,find you centre ,focus on other things in life for a month live in the now
find intimacy and connections with many other things,and people im not saying play up,try a naturopath for natural solutions to depressions ,read the power of now ,i am just getting out of your boat now ,i hope something in this helps adam
A
female
reader, krishiwishi +, writes (7 August 2008):
krishiwishi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your reply. Sometimes it helps to hear what other people think. To all- Have a great day.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): Hi
There is one thing i agree with your husband, he cannot (make you feel) but you can CHANGE how you react to what he says or does..giving you a different feeling. It does sound a bit like passive verbal abuse to me. It can be how one says something rather than what is actually said. I would definitely NOT fight back or defend yourself as you have been doing it will NOT work and infront of the kids is NO NO!
I AM ACTUALLY ON YOUR SIDE HERE, I MAY BE TOTALLY WRONG.
i think i something here that you do not understand yet.
you feel worthless
you are depressed
you feel the need to defend yourself
He loves himself??? good !but can be verging on massive EGO.
He makes you feel bonkers because you are on medication.
he says your mind is making you think and feel the way you do....
emotionally unavailable.
I think you need to have a chat with a women's institute about possible mental abuse.
If this has been going on for years it does eventually show, is this why you are depressed? is this why you feel worthless? You feeling anger is normal ( but control it)
Have a look on some web sites on mental abuse and emotional abuse and see what you FEEL. In situations like this a persons PERCEPTION alters and they feel confused and the abuser makes them feel BAD and to blame for everything. But do not defend yourself by fighting him it will wear you down and hurt your kids..defend yourself with knowledge and speak to people who can help you. You loose your sense of SELF but you will get strong again. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS.
...............................
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (7 August 2008):
 i see your depression can sometimes cloud your feelings and the slightest thing can make you emotional although when i was depressed the biggest thing i wanted was a hug from my partner..you need to start loving yourself and your kids and forget about mr cocky right now..and as far as him being not sensitive enough hes blaming your problems how rude/ just because you have depression doesnt mean to say your insane just means your emotions are on a balance and if its tipped it has an effect though medication should keep it in balance. he seems to be having behaviour problems and doesnt seem to be respecting you but in order for him to have respect for you you need to respect yourself and be strong and try and do things that make you happy try and get yourself out of this depression i know he isnt helping/ but do a fun activity with your kids go horse riding or ice skating and make a regular thing keep your chin up and your head high you are worth a million dollars so lets turn this around and make you feel it!! good luck aphex xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Dearest dear, Try to read the book of Mars And Venus. it might help... Oh' by the way im on the same situation as you right now.
...............................
|
