A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have fallen in love with someone I dont know that well but I do know my feelings however he has told me he doeant love me which is fair enough and wants to stay friends (we have never slept together)I dont think I can handle this as obviously he will be wanting sex elsewhere and I find it all so painful. Would I be better off getting out altogether or stay friends? I dont think I can but its going to be hard writing to him and saying goodbye also -if I say goodbye should it by letter or e mail? should I just stay a friend? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): I am in the same position though I have known the guy for over a year and we are very close and tell each other everything. He was already in love with someone else he could not be with so we both comforted each other but no sexual contact.
Now his other relationship has developed and become more available I am finding it extremely painful to let go, but I chose to stay friends, because as the previous person wrote (and my friend tells me), that having close friends is more important than one sexual relationship. If we cut the cord we have lost everything, if we keep in touch the friendship can evolve into something less painful over time, and if he ever needs a friend we will still be there, and of course for us too.
I realise it is not sensible to live in hope someones feelings will change toward us, but as we move on with our lives there is hope the pain will diminish and it is better to live for today than to hang our hopes on a pathway that is likely to change anyway.
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