A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like crying... There's this guy I was dating for a while, the first time ever that there was potential with anyone (and I'm 20), but all the while I felt like something was wrong, that I couldn't fall in love with him. He was so sweet, so good to me, and made me feel so good, but one moment two weeks ago I panicked and told him it was over because I didn't feel right about it.I felt bad afterwards, but I quickly forgot and didn't worry about it for about a week and a half (I had a stressful period in school as well) but then, because he wanted to stay friends, he sent me a facebook-message, and we started talking for some time, and I realised I wanted to meet him because he had made me feel so good. So I told him I'd panicked and I was stupid, and he said we could talk about it. So I thought he'd be willing to try again, but then we met up and he said the moment I told him he pushed his feelings aside and coincidentally this other girl he didn't really know asked him to come over, and he didn't have any intentions but now he likes her and wants to see if it could get serious with her. And she's 17 (he's 21). I don't know why but that makes me feel even worse.And he was incredibly nice and said I shouldn't feel bad but I feel like absolute crap and I don't understand why. Maybe it's juust because I feel alone, but I also don't want to be with anyone else. I feel so hurt and like I could burst into tears any moment (and I haven't cried in two years, I never cry). I just don't understand how he could find someone that quickly, he said he did mean to be serious with me but he took me seriously when I said it didn't feel right and I must have had a reason. He said that even if it didn't work out with the other girl he still just wanted to be friends with me.I just hate him for this but it's all my own fault. Why do I feel like crap when during the time we were dating I was always worrying about not feeling enough?
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (11 January 2013):
There's no way to know for sure if he still has feelings for you. It wouldn't surprise me if he did.
I had a girlfriend of 1.5 break up with me and change her mind relatively quickly. But by then it was too late. Although I wanted to be with her I didn't want to be with someone who would dump me so suddenly. And, like your guy has, I met a different girl by then and I didn't want to risk that potential for someone who didn't seem to know what he wants.
You seem like a nice, intelligent person so you need to think before you act. Being in a good relationship is an amazing experience, especially when the other person treats you like you're special. You can't let your fear of getting hurt (or whatever is going on with you) prevent you from experiencing it.
The next time you meet someone and things are going well you need to force yourself to be rational; don't be afraid of falling in love.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're right, I didn't fall madly in love with him, but I think I might have if I had given it a little more time.. Nobody's ever been this good to me or made me feel so good, I just got scared. I always do, I've always kept guys at a distance because I just couldn't let anyone come close. I don't know why.I'm so upset, but please just tell me if you have real feelings for someone they don't just disappear when it's over. He couldn't have liked me that much, right? I'd feel better knowing it couldn't have worked anyway, but I'm really not sure. Why would he say that even if it didn't work out with this other girl, he wouldn't want to be more than friends? That's it, no second chance? I can't even be mad at him because he did everything right, I'm the one who screwed up. I just hate myself, I'm such an idiot! I wish I had a time machine :(
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 January 2013):
You probably feel like crap because he rejected you. Rejection sucks, there's no doubt about it.
If it makes you feel better remember that you didn't exactly fall madly in love with the guy, so you're not heartbroken.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013): Unfortunately a lot of young women think that they are more special than they truly are...my advice, try not to be one of them. You made your choice and now you want it back. Doesn't always happen.This same thing happened to me and I never got back with the girl that dumped me. I moved on and fast too. She stalked me for almost a full year.
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