A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:At the moment, I'm a little upset with what my parents have said. Not exactly sure how I should approach the situation. So it started off by discussing how I'm already in my 2nd year of university and that in a blink of an eye, I would be in my final year and getting my bachelor degree. And I expressed some excitement to be graduating from university and I said something along the lines of "YAYYY I'll be graduating!" The graduation ceremony is truly amazing and I saw my seniors graduate, so it got me excited because it seems like such a fulfilling moment and I can't wait to experience such thing. But my mum said after I expressed my excitement was "this graduation isn't even a real one, only when you get your Masters, that's a graduation." And my dad agreed. And I was speechless for a moment. And I was like it is a real graduation, it's an achievement, a stepping stone to the next stage of life. And they didn't think so. And the thing is, this isn't the first time she had said it, it has been then 2nd time and I feel quite distraught. Cuz I've struggled in my academics and I push so hard to get my grades up and I did. As of right now, my grades add up to second-upper class. and I'm gonna try harder to push up my averages. I feel like there's a part of me that is upset that she had said that because I literally pour blood sweat and tears to get to where I am and for her to say that, Im upset. And a graduation means you made it through, that you've earned the degree. I feel like if they said it again, I feel like telling them not to come for the graduation since they feel its not a 'real' one. cuz I don't need them to be sitting in the crowd just cuz I made them go for a graduation that they don't believe in. I have my godmother and cousins who would come for it because they know it's not easy to go through uni. Perhaps, I am sensitive at times. But they don't know the amount of hours spent in the library studying. The literal pain of trying to push up my grades. The depressive lifestyle I had to live because of how they pushed me to go to a uni that I didn't want to go to. And to say that, it really just sucks. -- there are many more things that I had to face with them, this is just a small segment of things that they've done towards me that caused me to feel upset about. This just struck a cord in me. and I don't know how to deal with it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2019): My dad did this to me throughout my whole school and college life. I couldn't wait to tell him that I had come second in the school exams and he just threw my certificate over his shoulder and said, 'Why weren't you first?' It took the wind out of my sails and all the joy from my achievement. I stopped trying so hard after that.
Now I'm much older and I realise that he was trying to spur me on. A ridiculous way to encourage someone in my opinion, but I think it's the way a lot of parents try to spur their children on, to even better grades and better achievements. I'm sure that's what your parents are trying to do. They have seen how hard you have worked and how you have managed to achieve better grades through your own sheer determination and willpower. They can see and KNOW that you are capable of achieving what you set out to achieve and they want you to do better and better. This is their way of spurring you on. They are incredibly proud of you and want you to get a master's. I bet they are very excited by your achievements and prospects and want you to not be content with the level you're working on now, but to aim for even greater success because they can see you're capable of it.
I agree with you that it makes you feel discouraged rather than anything else, but your parents are very proud of you indeed and want the best for you and this is just their way of trying to help you to achieve it.
Good luck in your wonderful future!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2019): I am a mom not yours but listen to me.....You are doing great.I am proud of you.You did good kid.That is a real graduation and you did it!Keep up the good work.Keep up with your good ethic of life and you will do great.Work hard when you are young and save save save as much money as you can and retire early in life...Then travel enjoy yourself. Do not let what your parents say to you get you down...That is just their way to push you towards more excellence.The way you sound i know you will achieve everything you want.You have accomplished so much and have done so well...congratulations on your graduation good job.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2019): Congratulations for even making it to university, and been excited to reach the goal you have set (at the moment). Your parents obviously have 'higher hope for you' that's good and underneath their cool exterior they are just telling you the journey has quite a few more miles, so don't get too relaxed. Much better to have family who support you to reach your potential, I had nobody at my degree ceremony, so I never even attended. I thought I had finished but later took my Masters (only because I realised I had more steam left in me) and could get higher up my chosen subject, I had more steam after that and have completed numerous training courses afterwards .
This is part of life, we should push ourselves to be 'who' or 'what' we want to be, to reach our true potential. It is also important to remember the University of life, it's 'not what you do that counts, but 'HOW' you do, what you do, that counts. One day you may want to reach your potential in raising a beautiful family, the next generation. life is not all about career but what you do now (gives you opportunities and choices in the future!).
Appreciate and love your parents while you are young, I see parents leave their children's lives through old age illness and death every day at work and vise versa. We are here 'now' and have to get it right and appreciate everything and everyone.
Nursing was not my original chosen career, I wanted to be an Artist and dancer, so I was never encouraged or supported mainly ridiculed. I was even told my degree/masters was a complete waste of time and money, but I carried on regardless because I wanted to reach my goal.
Today (years later) it goes hand in hand with my work using Dance rehab for Stroke and Parkinson's patients, and arts for health, just as the Governments and NHS are starting to recognise the benefits for patients.
Graduation can take a long long time.
Good look :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2019): Your academic achievement and eventual graduation is more to your own benefit than it is to theirs. They've raised the bar for your academic success; so you won't become too content with average achievement. They're parents, that's what they do.
Keep-up the good work! You're not there yet, so what would they be celebrating until you are? You're getting a taste of adult-life. I agree they could be more encouraging; but if they're not, deal with it. You seem to be fishing for reasons to dislike your parents. Let it go!
Don't hate on your parents.
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