A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i'll try and make this short so i dont bore you. I feel like i;ve screwed up big time and if i dont do something soon thats it. basically i met a girl afew years ago, i liked her from the moment i got to know her and eventually fell in love with her. But we were in the same class and once other people found out i liked her and that she liked me they did everything to stop it. Saying awful stuff about her and everything so i found it really hard to talk to her and be friends with her even though deep down i knew she was nothing like they were saying. As time went on it just became harder, i found out from a mate that she liked me but before he even had chance to ask me i had already said i didnt like her thinking he couldda been involved in everything that was going on. I was wrong.. We continued to try and be friends but it was made very hard. Im a very shy guy when it comes to this i found it hard to talk to her anyway because shes really shy as well but i was an idiot and let the others get to me so when we finally did sort things out i found it just as hard. We have since left school and we still see each other but i feel like such an idiot and please don't judge me for this. If we ever go out shes invited me out with our group of friends(real friends) and we dont talk much either. I dont know whats wrong with me!! When we do meet up i can talk to everyone else perfectly fine but her...i just keep making it worse because yeh i will answer her and stuff and try and talk to her but i cant talk to her properly. And its all because i feel that strongly for her. I finally got the courage to try and improve things not to long ago. We were out with friends and when they left i asked her to stay out with me. We started messing around just having fun and it was great. She sat on my knee at one point and i just sunk into her. I put my arms round her and i just couldnt let go. Im unsure if she noticed the way i felt at that time as she was just sitting there. I told her i was sorry for hurting her in the past and told her how much she meant to me as a friend. Part of me just wanted to kiss her but i darent. Another part of me weanted to tell her how i felt but i dont want to reck any friendship. I've been a total idiot i know, ive never had a proper gf as i've never been to bothered about it, with anyone else im really confident but not her. I hate the way ive made her feel in the past. I know ive upset her, made her feel like im igoring her and i want to put it all right. I know ive just gotta get some courage to tell her how i feel and hope for the best but its just not that easy. I feel i need to do it at the right time and everything but i havent even got the courage to ask her out alone or how to even approach it or start it. I had the best night of my life with her and i hadnt even got the guts to do it then. Im so painfully shy i need serious help! I just dont know how to do it, looking back on that night if i had took the risk i bet i would be happily with her now but i cant turn back the clock if i could get to that position again i'd change it. I feel i need to do something now before i mess up totally, i know she still likes me but its whether she still wants to be with me. people say she does but i truely love her and i need to own up to the truth!
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female
reader, applebite8821  +, writes (8 January 2010):
 No you're not an idiot, it's just because of the circumstances in the past that involves her that had made you this way. But don't let the past affect you like this. What's important is that you are still friends with this girl and you still have all the chances to let her know how you feel. I can say, she still likes you.
I suggest that you start inviting her on friendly dates that just only the two of you can go together. Coffee, movies, malling. Girls will easily know anyway if you are interested or not and most, if they don't like a guy, they usually find excuses to refuse. If she accepts your invitations, then that's a clue that she may want to hear something from you. And from there, tell her how you really feel about her.
It is not 100% guaranteed that she will give you an answer that will feel like cloud 9 but atleast you have said how you feel. Do this before she gets tired of waiting and will eventually decide to move on.
Life is full of risks. Just because you are too shy to confess to her, you will lose the chance to be with her as more than friends. And for all you know, she's just waiting patiently for you to open up about this.
Good luck.
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