A
male
age
30-35,
*ockshredder
writes:Another painful day. Really.You have to know my history 1st. A family friend girl dumped me when we were 16 cause I was ugly and unattractive. Then after 3 years I joined uni. Fell in love again. Relationship remained for 4 years. She dumped me 6 months ago for someone else when I immigrated to USA from Pakistan.A girl at my job made me a joke when I tried to ask her out 2 months ago. She told that to everyone in the work that I tried to ask her out and I became a laughing stock.Two weeks ago, 16 year old nephew died of choking due to suicide attempt when he tried to scare his parents so that he could get more attention from them. He was my sweetheart.Today, oh man. It was a day when I was genuinely happy after 6 months. It all became possible when I was talking to my mom who is with my sister(my nephew's mom) in Pakistan. I will come to the reason of my happiness in a moment. But 1st some more history.Before coming to USA I gave tutions for 5 months. I was good at mathematics and IT. I used to teach my nephews and another family. The family was my same sister's neighbours. I used to teach 2 sisters. One 15 and the other 19. That family loved me and repected me a lot. The uncle and aunt; I was like a son to them.Today when I was talking to my mom on skype she told me that uncle and aunt come to my sister's place everyday since my nephew's death. And they talk about me the whole time remembering the 5 months I went to their place everyday. From that the discussion of their elder sister started. I told my mom that she is really beautiful and I always liked her. That minute was the beginning of my 1st real happy moment since these 6 months when my mom said "If in any corner of your heart, there is a feeling for their girl, I can talk to her mother cause she talks about you a lot. Maybe she too wants you for her daughter."I do not know what was it. Maybe a void and tears I have been living for the last 6 months made me so thirsty that I quickly told mom to talk to them. But I prepared myself for a rejection cause that is my life. I however told her to take the step and let me know.For the next 4 hours, I was that same happy person who I used to be 6 months ago but ........I opened my facebook to see her pics who was possibly going to be my love and future wife. She was online. I got so happy. I talked to her. She said she was really upset for some reason. I asked and she said that there is this guy who used to hit on her 8 months ago and now she is involved and he avoids her. BAMMMMMM..............Bubye happiness. SHE IS IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE. I controlled myself. And I told her genuinely that my parents are gonna come and propose to your parents officially. And I told her all my feelings that I had all these months but had to hide them cause I was her teacher and I respected her parents a lot and never wanted things to get ugly and awkward.But I told her that I respect her relation and I will tell my parents to back off. She told me that she loves him but he seems to be cocky. He is a politician's son and I know what is coming to her. He will dump her I know. She said he has promised he will take a step after a year. I said I am sincere and I will wait for a year for her. She said ok. And went offline. My happiness too. I do not know why it made me so happy. Maybe for someone I liked a lot to get in committment with me officially was a huge come back for my peace. But it lasted for a few hours only. I got so happy maybe cause it was gonna be a solid love and committment cause the families were to be involved.I am in depression for a long time. I talk to myself in the dark and kiss my hands while crying. I am mature so I won't hurt myself cause I know people love me. But the thought that all the cheaters have love and I who always devoted myself lost it and still does, makes me cry. I am an utter failure.
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female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (18 August 2011):
 You are not a failure. You are a genuine caring young man who has a lot of love to give. You have respect and love from family and friends in Pakistan. Love will come into your life one day, you just have to be patient.
A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (18 August 2011):
 Never, ever invest your happiness on a woman's love my dear friend! Invest it on yourself. Discover the pleasures of learning and being a better person day by day. Invest your time on getting a good education. Invest your motivation on getting a decent job. Travel, read a nice book, go to church on sunday morning, go jogging in the park on sunrise. Start with these and the rest you will discover on the way. And i guarantee you will be a happier man. Best wishes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): Hi guy! I read through your story, i admire you! NO! You are not a utter failure, you have a heart, you are a sincered, faithful, and upright person! Do not lose heart, be brave! Keep your faith, you still have long way to go, every sucessful human being would suffer a lot at first and only after they bear all the pain you will be polished and earn great sucess, including the love of your life! Hang-on Man!
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