A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I'm not proud of what I've done and I just want to make it right but I don't know how. Please could anyone help? A couple of years ago I was seeing a woman who I was serious about, took her on holiday with my son and introduced her to all my friends. I got cold feet and called it off. I felt I couldn't be completely honest with her and felt really guilty. I wanted her to hate me so I told her she was ugly and turned my stomach. She did try several times to speak to me by text but I couldnt cope so either swore at her, called her names or completely ignored her. She was very upset over the break up but I had to pretend not to care so she would hate me. She must have had some sort of emotional melt down because when I saw her a while after in the street she looked awful, like she'd lost a load of weight and pale and pasty. She wouldnt even look me in the eye. I saw her again recently and she looked really happy and healthy. She shot me a filthy look and never spoke to me. she looked at me as if i was utter shit! I suppose i shouldnt really be surprised, but I just want an opportunity to say how sorry i am for what i did, but i dont know how to go about it and dont think i could cope with her rubbing my face in the dirt. Im with someone else now who doesnt know the circumstances with me and my ex and how i treated her, so i am also scared about my new gf finding out in case she thinks im an arsehole. Thanks to anyone who replies.
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my ex, on holiday, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are right- I deserve all I get!
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (29 June 2010):
 Just as I said...was a damage limitation exercise...you arnt at all sorry. If she didnt have mutual friends with your new girlfriend, I doubt you would have bothered to apologise at all.
Don't suppose you'd actually stop being a scumbag??? Any chance??? or are you just gonna use that dogmatic time honoured traditional excuse, used the world over...
'Well what do you expect...Im' a man'!!!
Believe me women (including your new girlfriend) really hate that...we arn't that stupid.
Really glad she stuck the boot in and really hope you leave the poor girl alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's true-at least I know how things stand.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi. Well, messaged the ex telling her how sorry I was and she replied this morning. Told me what a sad excuse for a man I am and that she has moved on so my half hearted apology means nothing. Also, turns out she has mutual friends with my new gf who have threatened to tell the new gf what a scumbag I am. No more than I deserve really. Feel better for getting it off my chest though. Thanks everybody.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (28 June 2010):
You want to apologise?...but you dont want her to rub your face in it???...don't sound too sincere to me. Sounds more like damage limitation so people wont tell your new partner what your really like.
Given the chance your ex DESERVES to rub your nose in it. If you really want to show her that your sorry, you should keep well away from her and let her get on with her life.
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