A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend of three years cheated on me. i know i did nothing wrong i treated him like a king and it still backfired.i know he has a lot of issues but none of that was an excuse for what he did. i am devastated! a complete mess. i want nothing to do with him i will not go back to him or take him back. ive gone as far as deleting my facebook account, blocking his number and emails just so i can move forward so thats a start. but i dont know what else to do! i want this to go away so i can be happy once again. i know it will take some time but i gave this guy my everything and i dont understand how he can throw it all away for some whore. he was apologizing non stop but nothing he said was good enough.i need to move on ive put up with too much from him, hes broken my heart before so i cant continue to do this to myself or i will never be happy. so how can i do this? how do i get past this?! i am desperate for answers i feel like my world is tumbling down slowly. as much as my heart says to forgive him and stay i must listen to my head this time.i know ive received good advice from here before so if anyone has anything for me i will really appreciate it!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 November 2011):
 What he did is NOT ABOUT YOU... it sucks to learn this.
GREAT BOOK: A Fine Romance by Judith Sills... it's in paperback...
there are also numerous books on healing a broken relationship/etc.. I had one at home but it's out of print and can't think of the author right now...
he did not do this TO YOU.. this is on HIM totally
you have my permission to lay in bed and eat ice cream and suck whipped cream out of a can for SIX WEEKS. call your girl friends and obesses about him...then you pull up your big girl panties and move on with life...
right now you will wake up thinking of him
you will get out of bed thinking of him
every move you make you will think of him....
all normal
one morning you will wake up and get as far as the bathroom before you think of him... this is healing...
a week or so later you will get as far as drying off after the shower before you think of him...
eventually you will lay down to go to sleep and realize that YOU DID NOT THINK ABOUT HIM ALL DAY... you are healing.... and moving forward.
BTDT... hugs you you...
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 November 2011):
 I doubt the guy loves anyone but himself. He might have liked you a lot, but obviously not enough to repect you and not cheat on you.
I know it's hard, but I would stop worrying about what he might or might not have felt, thought, done... It was his loss, and even if it doesn't feel that way right now, your gain.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni cant seem to take these disturbing images out of my head. i didnt see him cheat but just the thought of another girl and him having sex makes me crazy. im trying so hard to stay strong. i dont understand how a guy can have such a good girl and just do that to me. was he just over the relationship and didnt care enough? didnt love me anymore?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 November 2011):
Honey, there is nothing worng in treating someone you love like a King. Nothing you did MADE him cheat. He decided that ALL on his own.
His loss, big time!
Cut the contact 100% - don't let him sweet talk his way back in.
It might take a while for you to get "over" it, but the thing is to not dwell on it. Accept that he wasn't who you thought or hoped he would be.
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A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (8 November 2011):
 I think you have done the right thing by cutting out communication with him. This will give you time to deal with your emotions by yourself without the added pressure.
There are no quick solutions to heart-break and betrayal. You have to be patient with yourself. This guy is so not worth it. Be firm and let him go... you will get over him. Its just a matter of time. Get some close family and friends around you for support. Good luck xx
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