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female
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anonymous
writes: I really need some advice here..i have been with my boyfriend from february 2007. we both met in college and had an instant bond. we graduated from college in 2008 and took jobs overseas. so we both lived in different countries from november 2008. the plan was that by august 2010, we would return to the USA to do a master's degree at the same university so that we could be together. so everything went as planned until we came to school in august. i realized he was going away to take phone calls, texting at all times and so i got suspicious. anyway, when i did some investigation, i saw a sexually explicit message in his phone that he sent to a girl (a girl whom i never heard him talk about before). anyway, confronted him about the message and he said it was just foolish talk and there was nothing behind it. i still didnt believe him because the message was very very explicit. so i asked hom to tell me the truth. then he denied having sex or any relationship with her. i got the girls number and called her and she told me they slept together several times. she said he nver told her he was engaged to me and that he gave her the impression that he is the only one who was going to study. she even said that he said he has a girlfriend but doesn't see her often, ommitting the fact that we saw each other every 3 months and were engaged. anyway, to cut a long story short, after weeks and weeks of denying sleeping with her, he finally admitted it. is it worth staying in a relationship with him?i just don't undertand how a person could claim to love someone and sleep with someone else not once, not twice, but several times.please, somebody, tell me what you think i should do.ps i took off the engagement ring
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female
reader, fisch777  +, writes (10 November 2010):
Honestly I do not understand it either. But the facts are he did and like you said it he did not once, not twice, but SEVERAL times. Doesn't that tell you something.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): To johnpaul, in no way has the orignal OP suggested their relationship was an open relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Yeah he's gone, get rid of him, you just can't trust him ever again. Oh and if that ring is legally considered a gift in your state hold on to it, then pawn it in the future and use the money to treat yourself.
http://marriage.about.com/od/rings/a/ringreturn.htm
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 November 2010):
It's not worth staying with him. And not just because he cheated, but because he so blatantly lied about it. You've really said it yourself. How can someone truly love you when he's cheated several times, then so obviously lied about it. And that answer is that he doesn't. He doesn't love you enough, and he certainly doesn't have enough respect for you at all.
I don't see any point in you staying with him. To stand there and say that he didn't cheat, whilst you have the texts to prove it, show how little he really thinks of you.
Dump him, and move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): He has broken your trust and once the trust has gone there is no relationship. Do you think you can trust him now? In my opinion i don't think it's worth anymore heartache, and that's all you're going to get if you stay with him.
It's not as though he had a drunken one night stand, which is bad enough, he cheated several times and was fully aware of what he was doing. If he's doing this now can you imagine being his wife? This guy is obviously not cut out for a serious relationship and doesn't have much respect for you or your relationship by the way he's been carrying on.
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