A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:my spouse left me for his ex-girlfriend, he's moving in with her she is going through her second marriage. my mom was dx with ca and he left anyway for 6 months. he did not pay taxes he quit his job got her name tatooed and then told me he was gonna divorce me and marry her. he took her to meet his mom and her man ..i never met this man.he states if he could keep us both he would. he had photos over all over the house computer. now he came back to me and yet he brought photos of him and her and love cards to my home and he called her to tell her this where he wants to be but he will always love her. yet i took him back and now after a couple of years im miserable and loooking everywhere to see if they are still talking. help what can i do i dont want to leave him but im getting sick and he doesnt like talking about her and what he did. this upset him and he told me he trust her and that sexually she was clean.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): Show him the door and lock him out 4 good.
You are not just staying with him because you love him. You are also staying because your scared of being alone and having to deal with heartache, but hunni this marraige your in is lonely and heartbreaking. Hes calling all the shots and hurtful by telling you he would rather be with her than you. He doesnt love you. He only need someone to mother him and to ease his selfish woe is me ego.
Being on your own does not mean that your a failure, it means you are showing self respect.
Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): Taking him back was enormous work on your part but he is not meeting you half way. By refusing to talk to you about it all, he is denying you one of the best way to overcome his unfaithfulness. Talking.
He is allowing you to suffer the burden alone. That will lead to fatigue and depression because it is akin to carrying a huge burden, while he skips along beside you wanting you to hurry up and recover but not helping you out. Totally unfair of him.
You are a woman to be reckoned with. Because when you love, you love body and soul, even to your own detriment. So if YOU said you would always love someone other than your husband, your husband would be wise to worry!!
By comparison, his idea of love is pretty shabby. Look how he treated you! Yet he would say he loves you. So if he tells another woman he will always love her, dont let it bother you too much. You have seen how well he loves.
I think he was caught up in the drama and enjoyed having two women that wanted him. He probably felt/feels quite special and thinks he can get away with anything now!
Ask him to remove all pictures of her and him and retract his statement about loving her, renew your wedding vows and set a date for couples counselling. If he refuses to do those thing, then he is truly not worth bothering with.
I hope your mom made a good recovery by the way.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012): You took him back under the terms that he still loved this other woman and always will and there is no trust. He was upfront about the terms and you agreed to them to get him back. Now you are left with a lying, cheating husband. Now all you can do is decide if this is the kind of marriage you want and if not, get out of it.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 February 2012):
 Let's focus on the only phrase in your submittal which makes any sense; This one: "....help what can i do i dont want to leave him..."
You ask for help. Here it is. Leave him.
You ask: "What can I do?" The answer is, leave him.
You then add: ".... I don't want to leave him..." The "answer" is STILL, leave him.
Until and unless you listen to that advice ("Leave him") you will continue to experience the misery that he visits upon you. Your choice...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012): Three vials of blood or so on blood tests and getting him to be with you while you eIt results can give you answers about physical risks. Sometimes we love and sometimes we are in love. If you cannot tryst him you can get him to go to couple's therapy and try to get him to grow up. Or you can get help privately and not tell him. Put his butt on the curb. change the locks. If you close the door on thisrelationship are you really losing anything??You may move forward and when you let go find new joys. Stress can kill and thus is no way to find happiness She us not a lady. Two husbands -- so she knows how to grab them and does not care who she hurts doing so. You are a lady and you already survived without him. FYI locksmiths will come out 24-7. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012): you took him back...why?
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