A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Here's one for you women in friends with benefits situations - Guys just how shallow is a FWB situation?I recently told my "good friend" of 9 months that I had to be tested for cancer and he emailed me that it was a good time for him to disappear so he would not create emotional "conflict" for me!Somehow I had expected a bit more from a "good friend" as he told me we was. Oh, he did wish me well........Please women realize that he was extremely loving and tender and emotionally intimate when we were together, and he called and emailed often when we were apart. I understood that there was no future romantic relationship and was not pushing for one. I didn't want one. I did want that friend part though. So, guys, just how shallow is a FWB situation? I feel as if I could have been replaced by a hand (or prostitute), a teddy bear and a therapist. These guys aren't seeing you as persons with needs. They dont's see FWB as a two-way street. They are just seeing you as fantasy objects and sex toys.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTrue. So true.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI emailed him and told him my tests came back negative and told him I'd drop his things off at the front desk of his apartment building. He called wanting to take me to dinner and to forget about his things and that he didn't want sex from me. He just wanted to talk to me. Part of me says to forget him. Part of me wants to hear what he has to say.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (10 October 2007):
Ditto my earlier advice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFinal followup. He disappeared after the one phone call.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell he called first thing thing this morning and apologzied for not being there for me and offered his emotional support. Said it freaked him out when he first heard it. Now he's doing research into the matter for me. So, I guess he really is a friend!
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (28 September 2007):
He may be scarred by the situation. Keep in touch, he'll probablly get over it. Maybe he deals with stress poorly. Think back to other situations that stressed him. How did he cope?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2007): Hun, you just answered your own question!!
When you said "These guys aren't seeing you as persons with needs. They dont's see FWB as a two-way street. They are just seeing you as fantasy objects and sex toys." You hit the nail on the head! Maybe think about other kinds of relationships next time.
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