A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and have been for about 4 years while we both finish school in different states. I'm planning on moving out there at the end of this upcoming summer when I graduate. I love him so much, and do truly want to be with him, but my question is this: He has never (not once) bought a plane ticket here (the cost is about $220 US dollars round trip), and I am always the one to travel. I know he is sorta financially strapped, but as a student with 2 jobs, so am I. Also, although we have been together for a long time, he has only gotten me one Christmas gift and one valentine's day gift (along with flowers twice and a card or two). I really don't want to seem materialistic, but I was sorta dissapointed when I didn't get a birthday present last year and the month before I saved up to get him an mp3 player and fly out there to take him to a really expensive dinner. I also send him care packages all the time, just so he knows I'm thinking about him, but he has never reciprocated. Am I wrong in being disappointed? Am I being too petty? Thanks so much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all of your advice, I really appreciate it.
A
female
reader, velvetcaroline  +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Ive been a longterm relationship for just over a year so Im not a cold caller with this question.
When I read this i couldnt help but compare it to my situation and its just so different. Long distance relationships as you know, take work. Work that hes clearly not putting in.
This may not be what you want to hear but are you sure he feels the same way about you as you do about him? Does he WANT to to move there? He might be doing a male technique where hes trying to hint to you he wants out. 4 years is a long time to be in a relationship, especially if your students.
but from the sounds of it, you deserve better sweetheart.
-caroline
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A
female
reader, drastic knowledge +, writes (28 September 2007):
 not at all hun you have ever right to be upset with him and i know its hard to talk about money, exspecially if its hes money been there but you dont deserve something as its the thought that counts and you should talk to him on how you feel about him never coming to see you and dont fall for that line its cheaper for you to come see me
yeah right men but also that you make sure he knows your thinking about him and spend money on him for things,
you want him to return the favor
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