A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Alright so around 2 months or so back me and my best guy friend were feeling each other up and it almost lead to sex but I stopped it. But there has been previous occasions where he's tried to force me to have sex with him and I've said no several times and he would still try... Here's the worst part... He has a girlfriend. And recently I had been feeling really crappy that his girlfriend had no idea what type of person he was and what he and I both did. So I had decided to tell her because it was eating at me ad I felt she had a right to know because the guys been pretty much lying to her ad te relationship has been based on lies. I told her and everything went in disarray. She went AWOL the guy got pissed off that he was uncovered and I felt like shit and still do I mean I figured if I told I would have felt better that she knew and everything would be fine... Well not fine but better then what has become of it. And the girl had texted me asking questions about what went on between me and him and I had told er the truth to everything. She deserved it. And then she told me to stay away from him. I'm like Uhmm okay but what about you your going to stay with someone like him?! I did this all for nothing. Then the guy texted me last night saying how he was a complete mess and that he hated me. When he said that it felt like someone shot me in the chest. He is my closest friend and I had/have stormy feelings for him. I care for him more than any of my other friends. And the problem just keeps on getting worse and worse. What do I do. Lately I haven't stopped crying because of the mess I made. I feel like this entire thing is my fault...
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Honestly, I think you did the right thing.
You messed around, but used your head and stopped it, he wanted to continue regardlessly of his "status" ( being in a relationship)
Sometimes we have to do things that makes us feel like crap, because it's the RIGHT thing to do. You told his GF and now SHE can decide if she wants to stay with this tool or not.
However, I AM surprised that you thought he wouldn't get furious about this. He got caught. His GF now knows he is a tool. Maybe she had no clue before. So WHO is he going to blame except you? The guy doesn't have the BALLS to own his own actions.
Let him go. He IS NOT friend or boy-friend material, he is an immature flakey hormonal & horny dude.
And trust me, if YOU had been/was/is his GF he would have tried to feel up other girls as well. Maybe, this will (eventually) teach HIM a lesson in friendship and morals.
Stop beating yourself up. All you lost is a loser.
As for his GF, leave her be. If she wants a tool for a BF, let her.
Carry on.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Excuse me but.... what did you expect, that he'd THANK you ? That he'd give you a medal ? Of course he's mad. You interfered in his relationship, his gf must have been giving him hell,... he can't be grateful to you for that.
It would have been better to nip the problem in the bud, i.e., NOT letting him feel you up, putting your foot down and making absolutely clear that if he wanted to keep your "friendship " it had to remain strictly platonic.
Now the friendship is ruined anyway. You tried to force his hand, - hoping that his gf was going to dump him , leaving him free and available, and it backfired on you. No? it was not this you had meant to do ? well, he's going to see it this way regardless.
The good news is that ultimately you did yourself a favour, it does not sound like a friendship, it sounds more like a taken guy tryng to get into your pants . At your age the last thing you need is an FWB experience.
Leave your friend and his gf alone and go find a nice guy all for yourself.
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A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Hunny... this guy is YOUR BEST FRIEND... and after all thats happened you still want him to be your bf and you miss him and stuff... If this is the case, why are you warning the other girl that he is a bad person and to stay away from him???? It makes no sense. I think you are playing both the other girl and your friend. If something happened between you two.. you should of discussed it with HIM. He will prob find it very hard to trust you after whats just happened coz he knows that you have the potential to use his relationship with you against him!
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