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female
age
30-35,
*mmmm
writes: my friends never believe me, well here's the thing, i slept with someone i shouldn't have and i completely regretted it so i went to confide in my friends! When i told them at first they promised not to tell anyone and i felt much better after i had confided in someone, however, they then got his number off my phone and started prank calling him and annoying him.My friends then spread my secret all around the school and then started saying they didn't believe me which i thought was uncalled for and then they said i'm a liar and they didn't want to my friends!! I started hanging round with other people and whenever they saw me with another friend they came over and told them what they thought i'd done! In the end i was so fed up that i told them it was a lie just to stop tem from annoying me but now they never believe anything i say and i can't tell anybody anything!Also, i made friends with a girl i've known all my life but never really talked to and she's really loyal and trusts me but they all gossip about me saying i'm leaving them out and they spread rumors like we're lesbians when we're not, they say that she's got me wrapped around her little finger, however, it's them that have me wrapped round their little finger! Also one of my "friends" made friends with my sister and pretended to her that i'm always leaving them out!!! Then my sister told my mum she was concerned and i'm not allowed to see my best mate!! HELP ME!!!
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (12 December 2006):
 Laern form this, and chose your friends more wisely!! How many tiomes have you passed on juicy gossip about somebody else? It is part of the human condition and we cannot resist it. It is nothing to do with age!!
Discretion is the key!
A
female
reader, Evangeline +, writes (12 December 2006):
 It is a hard lesson to learn, but many girls of 16-17 just do behave this badly, it sounds like there is a lot of jealousy and immaturity within this group of girls and you dont sound immature like these girls.
Sex is a very grown up thing, and while you may be able to cope with it, these girls may not - they probably dont understand exactly what its like to have a sexual relationship with someone let alone regret. The only way they can deal with your problem is by behaving immaturely and spreading rumours.
For future reference i think its best if you can talk to a trustworthy adult about these issues and leave friends out of it (im 17 and learnt the hard way about some friendships like you!) make the most of a school councillor/nurse etc - it may sound daunting but sometimes you will be surprised by how much help they can offer!
It sounds like these girls are practising some sort of mild bullying which the school should deal with - this is also a good reason to seek help from school councillors etc.
It is sad because you should be able to confind in your friends - but honey most people just arnt mature enough at our age and so you have to be very careful about who you tell about your private affairs - its one of lifes little lessons and in someways ur lucky u've leant it sooner rather than later!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): they are not your true friends. the same thing happened to me. the solution is not to keep your legs shut, but to keep your mouth shut. i had the worst nickname in highschool. "head". and it was only because some loudmouth overheard my friend and I discussing the night before. if you do not want everyone to find out, especially if it was a mistake, then do not tell anyone at all. confide only in yourself and no one else. don't even keep a journal. someone may find it and that is even more embarrasing when you have pages of your true thoughts passed all around school. i usually never write to anyone like this, but i do not want you to go through all i have gone through. So, get some new friends, do not tell them who you've slept with, who you are sleeping with or who you want to sleep with. then you and the guy are the only ones who know!
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