A
female
age
30-35,
*enny Junkie
writes:ugh ok so obviously alot of people have read my questions now let me ask you this. I told my boyfriend that I feel like I'm in a more physical relationship than an emotional one. he never kisses me unless i do it first and when i do its onl for like 2 seconds. I'm not a bad kisser bcuz he told me that when we first dated. he never shows me off or plays around. its like sex is the only thing that matters.. well I told him i dont wanna have sex for a while like maybe a month bcuz I wanna feel good with him without that. but when I told him that it was like it was the worst thing hes ever heard and he got really mad saying you cant just cut me off like that. and fine then i'll get my pleasure somewhere else... i dont think he meant that i hope. but i just dont know anymore.. he said fudge this website bcuz ppl dont know him but i think you all are very right on and have helped me a lot. and talking about it barely ever works..any suggestions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (11 September 2009):
 Learn to respect yourself. A good man will wait. Do not give it so easily. I know its hard. these young guys do not see sex as we women do. We give are hearts and emotions. Not half as much as they give.
Best wishes
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2009): I can see where sexlessintheuk is coming from, but from your boyfriend's perspective, you may seem like you're trying to get power from withholding sex, which isn't the kind of thing he'd want in a woman. I've often wondered about this problem, because I sometimes feel like I'm only wanted for sex in my relationships. I'm not sure what to do to find out the answer to this, but I know (because I've tried) that saying you don't want to have sex for a while doesn't work (unless it's the kind of situation where you've just had sex for the first time and don't feel ready to continue with it and explain this to the guy, he should understand). Although he needs to respect what you want, if you just say you want a break from sex because you don't feel cared for in other ways, it turns your relationship into a power struggle where one of you has to give in or the relationship has to end. Try instead telling him the things you like him to do - that you like him kissing you unexpectedly, or cuddling you sometimes, or looking into your eyes...tell him what make you feel close to him. Sex may be what makes him feel close to you, so it's creating another problem instead of solving yours if you decide no sex. Having said that, if you're not in the mood because you don't feel cared for, you need to speak up. Just don't give him an ultimatum about it.
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