A
female
age
30-35,
*ovezzzz
writes:I am 21 female and don't know if I will regret the night I had. I am a virgin that has urges for sex but learn to control myself, wel I was drinking, tired and my heart was secretly hurting and 1 of my guy friends who I havnt seen for awhile wanted to kik it, long story short were kissing and touching and he really wanted to have sex, I told him I was a virgin but I don't think it looked that way because I was on top of him. We did not have sex at all but in the end he kept asking me to send a pic of my private and im not going to do that, 2cnd before we kissed I told him he could only kiss me if we were together, he put me out in the spot too and ask if il be his girlfriend and obviously I said yea cuz I wanted it and drinking makes me even more tempted. So I am confused but I don't know if I came across as a ho# because im really not and I just don't know if I did something wrong or alright
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (29 December 2013):
 You didn't come across as a 'ho' but you did come across as eager to please, gullible and foolish.
Alcohol is known to impair judgment and lower inhibitions so if remaining a virgin for the foreseeable future is important to you, I suggest you ease up on it.
Despite whatever was said during your drunken horsing about, he is not your boyfriend and he isn't even a friend. A person who really valued your friendship or wanted to impress you enough to be his girlfriend wouldn't ask for private pictures. This is just plain common sense.
OP, your decision to postpone having sex is a smart one, so please don't jeopardize it by acting dumb.
Choose better friends, cut back on the booze and don't put yourself into tempting or vulnerable situations.
A
female
reader, klapure4 +, writes (28 December 2013):
 No you are not a ho. You have to project to him that you're worthy of a date. If this guy likes you enough, he will treat you out and not play games. Is this guy within the same age bracket as you? 18-21? If so, his maturity level is in question if he's playing games like this. Just tell him point blank that if he doesn't stop playing games with you, that you will ignore him and consider moving onto the next guy. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (28 December 2013):
 If he wants you as a girlfriend then he needs to do it the proper way, like a formal date. Asking you for private part pictures does not convince you that he wants something serious. A guy would say anything just to mean it for the moment. You need to see him and get to know him more in a sober setting. If you can only get in the mood under the influence of alcohol then you won't be able to make good decisions, and can't tell if the chemistry is real. You said your heart was secretly hurting. I wonder why. It just seemed like a guy friend took advantage of your vulnerable stage. If your body wanted it, then be honest with yourself. Don't become someone's girlfriend just so that you are not a ho. It's better to be single than to forge a relationship that's not right for you, in order to get your needs met without feeling shameful. There are women who do casual sex like it's a habit but obviously you have a problem with this. So for you it's better to wait, especially you want your first time to be special.
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