A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been living with someone whom I love more than anything. He works on a tugboat and is gone most of the time. I recently found out that he is texting his friend's girlfriend (His friend works on the boat with him). I confronted him about his and asked him to stop. I told him how much this hurt me but he refuses to stop. He says that I cannot and will not pick his friends and that this girl is his friend. I told him that he needs to pick me or her. He said that he will not choose and that if I didn't like it then I could just leave. He says that he loves me and that I need to trust him. I can't seem to get the thought of him texting her out of my head. What do you think is really going on and should I stay?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): I think that u should.just let him know that he has hurt u and that if his with u is because he was willin to trust you with his hear and feelings. And if he caint come back and tell you everything that he telling her than u need to leave him alone. I know its hard @ first when u love someone so much. But belive me sometimes showing the person you love so much how it would be if you weren't by their side. They would appreciate you a lot more. Belive me. Things don't always go our way and guys don't always tell us everything but when they take the time to talk to another gril that aint u than that mean trouble. U know? If u feeling it than its more then likely that its true hony!!!
A
male
reader, Mr.Insignificant +, writes (16 May 2009):
 Well it sounds like that is a deal breaker for you. I am not going to tell you that you need to trust him more or that you had every right to react the way you did. I am not going to speculate on what is going on between the two of them. For you, this is a sticking point and you have made that very clear and put it all on the line.But he has also taken up a position on the topic and subsequent ultimatum which also seems to be a deal breaker for him.There doesn't appear to be a compromise on this table and the board has been set.So what are your choices? If you stay, you will in essence be sending the message that your feelings are allowed to be dismissed by him, you don't respect or follow your integrity compass, he can get away with much more, it is a relationship that he doesn't have to respect, and all future matters of the heart will be met with the same "take it or leave it" attitude.If you leave, it will be understood that you mean business, your feelings do matter, you have a code that you live your life by, you recognize that the relationship is not what you need or want, and it is not ok to to pick texting a female friend over the feelings of his live-in girlfriend.So there were two ultimatums put out there: your "stop or else" and his "take it or leave it" His response to yours is "I will not stop." What shall you do with his?
...............................
A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (16 May 2009):
 If you haven't seen anything incriminating then you shouldn't be too worried, especially if his buddy knows that he's texting his gf.
Do you text any of your guy friends?
...............................
|
