A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years, I'm a student nurse and I think I'm pregnant althoguht we have been careful (I'm going to do a test tonight) Recently things between us haven't been the same he's started drinking more and tonight I told him I thought I might be pregnant after meeting him when I finished work he was drinking with his friends and because I was quiet he asked me to go home. Over 3 hours later hes still in town drinking when he has work tommorow and I'm sat looking at a pregnancy test/#. What do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): Did you take the test yet?? What are the results!?? Please update when you find out!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): Well, hun..if you are pregnant, your bf will have to step up to the plate and be a formidable man and prove himself a worthy partner and a good father. Lots of men can and will do this. I know of many ex party boys who made the necessary changes needed when it comes to a new family. It will come down to his choice, to doing what is right. He will have to give up his 'drinking nights' with the friends, a great deal and settle into a family life with you and this child. You know him best...is he capable of that? Does he have the commitment, the maturity, the integrity to be there for you and baby? If he makes the choice to remain a party boy way, you and this baby will have a grim future with this guy. Start making plans about what you can do is this relationship doesn't pan out. You may have a new little person depending on your best and most sensible, smart choices. And...you and this bf, need to get crackin' here and sit down and have a serious talk. If you are having a baby...his lifestyle is going to have to change, dramatically. Tell him what you will expect but be also willing to compromise. Negotiate a night a week, where he can still be with his buddies and have a few beer. But let him know...what you want from himas far as 'responisbility' goes..and if he is to be a great Dad to his kid. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): Well, I hope you're not pregnant. Because it sounds like this man doesn't want to be a daddy. He is trying to drink his problems away?? What is that? That's irresponsible. You must feel very lonely going through this without his support. If you aren't pregnant then you should consider leaving him, focus on your schooling and get your nursing degree. Then think about starting a family. You are still young so there's no rush. You said things haven't been the same and that's usually a sign that the love isn't there anymore. I hope you'll update us as to if you're pregnant or not. Either way stay in class. If you've been very careful then chances are you're not pregnant.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (30 July 2007):
 What do you do?Pray to god you're not????!This guys not mature or ready for anything of that magnitude.I assume hes a similar age to you?Ive got my fingers crossed for you.Let us know the result.Hes a selfish man isnt he.C xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): This could be his way of him showing he isnt ready or isnt interested, or either shocked any man who does this shows how they do not appreciate a young lady like you. Obviously if he says to you it is your fault he is showning to be not the man you love. And as we all say it takes two to tango so i think you should go up to the pub where he is drinking and ask him for a chat if he says no, then he isnt worth bothering with. Nobody wants to be a single mother but in this case sinario i think it would be benificail for you as he is as useful as a peice of shit. Although he could learn to deal with it i feel asthough you need to talk and spend time together. dont forget it is your baby and you do whats best for you and the baby nobody else.Love naomi xx
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (30 July 2007):
 You're b/f is having difficulty handling this news. It's a big thing, becoming a dad (or mom) especially when you're young, and you're not married, and perhaps don't even have enough money to support a child. The list goes on. But an even bigger problem may be his drinking. Since you mentioned that he's been drinking more lately anyhow, don't expect it to magically disappear now that more stress has been heaped on him. Some people (usually alcoholics) use it as a means of coping with their problems. Of course, it always makes them worse. Try to talk to him when he's sober and see how the two of you can manage this very big change in your lives. If he continues to drink, becomes violent or abusive, you may decide that the relationship is not worth the work and chose to move out. He will still have to support you financially but you don't have to jeopardize you or your child to an abusive partner.
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