A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Welcome,This is my life, Im Dave 16 and 6 months old, Tash is 16 and 11 months old Im gonna write the situation, and Id be very thankful if you could give me the next steps I could follow.There is this girl called Tash, her and I are in love, at the moment we arnt in a relationship, I said I want more time before I would have one with her, we tried being together two times previouly and that ended in tears due to not really knowing each other that well.last night we where talking on messenger, we were flirting, we started talking dirty and then was talking about sending "special" photos to each other ,and then topic of having sex came up.Now I said I was a virgin, and wasnt even ready to have sex let alone a relationship yet, I then said I trusted her enough to give it ago, she assumed I wouldnt know what to do, she has had sex once befor with a guy in the past and that basicly she just let him do all the work, so she thinks that shes experienced and Im not.I paniced at that stage, I felt quite dishonoured that she would think that little of me. being a young man who new to the game of sex, it kinda hurt, even if I thought I was ready. when I paniced we argued about our relationship, we questioned it. bad move.now its the next morning, Im upset, shes upset, I know were gonna make friend eventually, its just I dont think she could be worth losing my virgintiy too.was it right of me to make a stand and say "I dont know"? was it right that I question her that it could just be lust?help me please. what should I do?
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (29 November 2009):
 Yes you were absolutely right to tell her ' I don't know'. Having sex for the first time is a big move and involves consequences both physical and emotional. If you have any doubts then don't go with it.
Your at an important age where it is natural to be curious. I have kids your age and they tell me that they and their friends talk about it all the time. It's like playing dare, they wind each other up to see who will 'do it' first. Some of their mates have indulged already and some have held off, a couple of the girls have become pregnant or dumped right after and you should hear them all moaning about how unfair it all is.
It's all normal but at the end of the day you should go with what yoour comfortable with. There is plenty of time to decide what you wanna do and if you get pressured into it...well it might make you feel a bit dissapointed in yourself. As for having more experience, well this girl has done it before but it doesn't make her an expert. There is a chance that you will meet a girl who is still a virgin like yourself and when your both ready you can learn together. Nobody is seriously keeping score, everyone gets freaked at first and, like everything else in life...it's a learning curve.
...on a closing point remember to practice safe sex ALWAYS and bear in mind the legal limit is 16 in the UK.
You sound like you have your priorities right...you should feel proud.
Aunty Em xxx
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