A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of four years gave a very false impression of his sex drive when we were dating. I had no idea at the time. Now that we are living together and our lives are melded I cop his true sex drive/interest which isn't very much.I was honest about who I was sexually and otherwise. I feel like he was dishonest and deceitful. Now that our lives are so joined I find out the truth about who is sexually and I hate it. It seems so unfair to lead someone in like that.I know his love for me is real but I just don't get how someone could be so misleading like that. Worse than that I don't know what I am supposed to do now. Before I really committed to this guy I thought through everything and one of those things was are we matched well sexually. I thought we were brilliantly but what a lie that all was.
View related questions:
moved in, sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (20 May 2009):
 people grow out of the honeymoon phase. this is exacerbated by living together. the everyday humdrum of life gets rid of the mystery and with it goes the drive to know more. what you need to do is either spend less time together, or focus on non-sexual aspects of the relationship and shared hobbies. he might also be a bit depressed (goes with low sex drive).
i dont think he was lying to you but if you cannot resolve the issue and its a dealbreaker it may be time to call it a day.
A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (20 May 2009):
 well let him know that it's really bothering you and if he doesn't go see a doctor then he will continue to hurt you. anyone who really loves you would never want to keep hurting you
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have tried spicing it up a little and a LOT and it hasn't made the slightest bit of difference. It might make him a bit more into it for a moment but that is the end of it.
It was him who told me he has never been a very sexual person and used to have sex with me when he didn't feel like it when we were dating.
It just seems like he is going "oh I misled you before and now you just have to deal with it" (actually he would never say anything like that but I feel that is the reality I've been hit with).
Thanks though, and I agree there could be something messing with his sex drive. I asked him to go to his doctor but he won't go as apparently he is 100% fine so there is no point.
...............................
A
female
reader, bobbles32 +, writes (19 May 2009):
It might not be that he has lied or was trying to deceive you with his sex drive.. there could be something going on right now or for a while that's curbing his natural sex drive..
sometimes men lose their sex drives as they get older, or when they get "bored". Have you tried spicing it up a little? Maybe try some new things or something kinky, something that intrigues him, or brings that spark back
...............................
|
