A
female
age
30-35,
*haz.v
writes:me and my ex split up just over a month ago and its killin me. im so upset and cant stop thinkin about him. a week after we broke up he was with a new girl so that just hurt even more. feel like i ment nothing to him after over 2 years. but we decided to meet up one day and chat and just try be friends so he came to mine. we ended up sleepin together, spent the whole day together after, just chattin, larghing, havin a really good time. he told me he was gonna break up with this new girl and we would get back together so he didnt take his stuff from my house because he said there was no need to as he was coming back. for the next week after that we were talkin on the phone. he was tellin me how much he missed me and couldnt wait till it was all over and we could be back together. buh now we didnt speak for a week as i was on hoilday and asoon as i came back he text me sayin it aint going to happen. he is stayin with her! i feel so hurt, so used, i dnt no wat to do! i cant sleep because everytime i close my eyes i see him. wat can i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): Why would you want to be in a relationship with an unfaithful user like him? He will use as many girls that will allow him to! I wouldn't advise you to put yourself in this situation again, because you run the risk of creating a bad reputation for yourself. I think you should give him his stuff back and tell him enough is enough, and do everything you can to move on from him.
A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (21 August 2009):
 it sounds as if this guy is confused and playing with both your feelings.
He did you a favour you want someone dependable.
you dont want someone like him, who will declare undying love then retract their love so quickly.
he is a user and a loser.
Its a hard time for you, you will naturally be feeling depressed and sad so you need to surround yourself with a good positive friend you can talk too and just come to terms with the fact this guy was not serious about you.
you have to take it day by day, in time that pain will lessen and eventually disappear although you may not forget it.
unfortunately its part of life, we've all got someone whose hurt our hearts.
Arrange a time where he can collect his stuff, and although it may be hard right now you have to remain strong and positive and remind yourself of the truth, that ultimately he was a user.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (21 August 2009):
 You cannot change his bad behaviour, but you can do a lot to change yourself. There are people who go through life being doormats for others to walk all over, and they never learn any lessons. They always blame other people for the sorry situation they find themselves in and wail 'why me?'. Then, there are people who make a mistake and learn from it so it never happens again. Your ex had a new girl within a week of breaking up...that speaks volumes about his true feelings. At the moment he is in an ideal situation for him - he has a new girl and you waiting in the wings dreaming after him. Mr Ego is loving the attention and there is nothing you can do about him except ignore him and change the locks to the front door so he cannot come back when he is looking for a booty call. He slept with you while dating another woman, he may have cheated on you too - he has no integrity and he treats you badly because you let him get away with murder. He dumped you and you listened to his sweet talk all the way back to the bedroom afterwards. You ask what you can do? Accept he was a mistake, we all make them and move on with your life...ignore him and never date anyone who acts like him in the future or you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of heart-ache.
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