A
female
age
30-35,
*rissy93
writes:Ok, this might be a long post but you'll have to know everything to understand. I met this guy online and we hit it off. He told me he was single and hadn't been in a relationship in a while. We met in person and there was obvious attraction. The next time we met it was at his house. The days before, I told him I didn't want to go fast or anything and he was completely ok with it. unfortunately we ended up having sex (he was my first). Yes I know it was bad but hey, I'm 19 and I was a little too curious. To make this story shorter we met up at his house 3 other times and we always had sex. Now during the times I was with him, he treated me as if we were dating (before and after sex); he cuddled me, when we fell asleep he'd have me wrapped in his arms tightly and held my hand, kissed my forehead while I'm sleeping, I'd catch him staring at me , sometimes when I'm sleeping (I'd wake and see him looking at me), kissed me all time and everywhere possible, hugged me, when I talked he listened, when he talked I listened. Basically if we were in public and he treated me like he does when we were alone,you'd probably think we were dating for years!!And this is where the story goes downhill:I found out he has a gf!! and they've been dating since late last year!! (thanks to fb) Finding that out was probably the worst feeling ever!! I confronted him about it and he told me she wasn't his gf and that their relationship is like the one that we have, he only acts like they are together when they are out. (ok that makes no sense at all!! If you guys weren't "together" why is it plastered on fb where all your friends can see!) Anyway, he says that he doesn't want to lose the relationship that we have and to not worry about her. I don't know what to do! please help! I really do like him, he really is a sweet guy but, I have no idea how to approach this situation, this is really my first "relationship" I've had with a guy. P.S. if this helps anything: when we aren't together, we don't talk at all! If we do talk, I always text first and if I'm lucky, he will respond in the same day.
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (4 March 2013):
Sorry to tell you this but you’ve been fooled. It could happen to anyone, it’s just very unfortunate that this is your first serious relationship. Unfortunately it isn’t a serious relationship: what he says makes no sense because he’s stringing you, and this other girl, along. Hard as it will be, cut your losses and tell him you want nothing more to do with him. Then get all the support you can around you to come to terms with what’s happened.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 March 2013):
 Oh dear... stop having sex with him and being physical with him and going to his house and you'll know what to do fast.
Make him take you out in public and treat you like a gf and see what happens....
He's USING YOU!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2013): Ik it will hurt at first but leave him. He obviously is using you as his mistress to his girl friend. Time heals all. Next time give it more time before you go into things sexually. Good luck
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