A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Definitely needs some advice here,So my boyfriend and I have been together for quite some time now, (3+ years). While I do care for him, we are opposites and have been on and off. 2 years ago, I went on a trip with my school and met a guy (also from the same university). We instantly clicked, I felt our connection and he felt it too. I left out the bit that I was in a relationship, and he was pretty upset when he found out. After the trip, we remained friends and I constantly hang out with him. I don't know if it's just me, but there's sparks between us. When my boyfriend and I called it off last time, I ran to his house and told him what had happened. While I was crying, he was there to comfort me. We cuddled that night for the first time and maybe it was because I liked the attention, but it felt so much better and comforting than my boyfriend's. I recently found out that he has a friend with benefits. And the girl is also liked him as well. This crushed me, even though I seriously had no right to be upset with him. All this time, I thought we mutually liked each other, but the timing was off. Now I'm not entirely sure what we are to each other anymore. What should I do?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 May 2016):
 I can see why you feel crushed, because you have feelings for him, maybe he does for you as well, but I am pretty sure he probably accepted that you had a boyfriend therefore he carried on with his life and had you as a friend and nothing more.
He is having sex with someone else, and she likes him, therefore you need to be careful you don't end up causing a love triangle. Talk to him and ask him what he wants. Maybe at the moment all he wants is some casual fun with this girl. You then need to accept that and enjoy single life.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (24 May 2016):
"we are opposites and have been on and off."
Opposites has nothing to do with on and off. If you are right for each other, it will be on all the time. If you are not, then it will be off, and should stay off.
The connection with the other guy is there to show you your ex was wrong for you. But as "Janniepeg" said, be cautious. Infatuation and love are two very different things.
Personally...I would stay away from any guy that has a "friend with benefits". Why? If a man is willing to just have casual sex without any commitment...what do you think he will do with you when moment their is a problem in your relationship? Run right back to his "friend". If he is not committed to his "friend" and gets what he wants anyway, why would he commit to you??
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (23 May 2016):
 I would be cautious about being so sure about "connection." It's easy to feel it with people, but the kind of connection that lasts is hard to find. Now, if what he felt for you was real, he can man up and tell her the truth that he found someone else. Then he has to be honest and keep her at a distance. You can't guarantee that he would ditch her for you, just because you broke up with your ex. You can express to him that what a pity that he kind of has someone, or else you would be interested in dating him. His response would tell you how ready he is.
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