A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, just hoping for a bit of advice on this one. Was dating a guy a few months back, who I got on really well with. He was quite hard to read at first, I wasn't sure whether he liked me as he would often look kind of awkward in my company, almost like he wanted to get away! I never chase anybody though and eventually he asked me out on a date. It went really well, prob the best first date I've had. We texted and met up a few more times, but it was every few weeks. Everyone that knows us insisted that he liked me, and he gave lots of indication that this was true. So I plucked up the courage to ask him if he wanted to date a bit more frequently, I didn't suggest a relationship just more dates etc. To my horror, he told me he didn't want to commit himself to it, that he did like me and he was sorry he didn't realise he had given wrong impression. Obviously, without writing everything its hard to explain, but I was shocked because he did give the impression he liked me a lot. Anyway, I haven't seen him properly since, but we went on a night out last night and he was there. I don't know why, but he reverted to not speaking with me very much and looking uncomfortable. I'm completely normal to him, but he makes me feel like I'm nothing. Everyone says how nice he is and what a good match we are, but when he acts like that it makes me feel hurt. He's in no way nasty, just seems he pays more attention to whoever else is around than me, and we used to laugh so much as we had so much in common, but we barely spoke at all. I know there's nothing really I can do about, but I just keep thinking in my head that he doesn't even regard me as a friend, let alone anything else :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2013):
Well the saying goes kiss a few frogs until you met prince charming .. Alas I think your non keeper a bit of a tadpole . So chin up sweetie, it's his loss someone will soon come and snap you up.
Just remember and be yourself and if your in his company again.. Smile and he ignores you, say hey cat got your tongue . Then breezily talk to one of your other friends let ' tadpole' know, your aware he's being mega rude.. If he says anything tell him ' manners don't cost anyone anything, then sigh and add that's why I'm talking to you'
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2013): Thanks for the responses. I know, its just hard when we seem well matched in many respects! Fed up of frogs!!
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A
female
reader, Alba5 +, writes (30 June 2013):
I think this guy is insecure and not sure with himself. If the alarm bells are going off now pull out honey. Obviously you aren't happy with his weirdness and I don't think that's going to change as the relationship progresses.
Tell him you think he needs time to decide what he wants as maybe he has just come out of a difficult relationship, and see what he says.
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A
female
reader, confusoholic  +, writes (30 June 2013):
 Sometimes guys do like us, but they are not willing to commit for whatever reason. And then, as a defense mechanism or just because they are too ashamed to admit they were wrong, they start ignoring/ not staying in touch.
We unfortunately expect every guy we date to behave with honour and treat us with respect, but the sad part about dating is that it won't be like that all the time.
I don't think you need to be upset about anything at all. He obviously has his own issued, you need not be a part of it. Cheer up, this is a part of the dating game, we will come across frogs, just enjoy every experience and remember in your heart - not everyone will treat you like this. Forget about it.
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