A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Today I found out that while my fiance now boyfriend and I were having problems, he went to smoke some weed with my guy friend and my best female friend, which I knew about and I don't touch the stuff but I thought oh fine whatever. My guy friend is moving in a couple days and told me he had to get this off his chest because he felt guilty. He told me that night my boyfriend got so high he passed out and then he woke up and was still out of it and my supposed best friend was telling him how much of a drag I was and he said why couldn't I be more understanding like my friend and they kissed. My guy friend saw this and yelled at them and sent my boyfriend back to me. They knew my boyfriend and I were having issues and I had known my female friend since we were 6 (we're 20 now), and when my guy friend that I had known just as long but not as close talked to her about it after my boyfriend left she was acting like it wasn't a big deal and said to make things even, that he should sleep with me. He got really pissed off but since my friend and my boyfriend were close with him, he kept his promise not to tell anyone until he told me today. My guy friend told me my boyfriend might not remember because he was so far gone but he told me he thinks if he hadn't stopped my female friend and boyfriend, they might have had sex. I immediatwely confronted my boyfriend about it, and it made me feel better that he didn't get mad and outright deny it since that's what he does when he lies; he simply said that he wouldn't deny it because he doesn't remember so it's a possibility it could have happened but in his right mind he would never touch her. I believe this is true because when she would hug him and they didn't know I was looking, he had this grossed out look on his face or he would not have a pleasant look at least and would always complain about how irresponsible she was and how annoyingly arrogant she is. I knew for a while we had grown apart and she wasn't my BEST friend, but I thought she was still my friend, you know? At that moment she tried to seduce him, she wasn't intoxicated or anything. She smokes all the time and I'm 100% positive she was coherent. I knew she talked about me behind my back sometimes and I knew she had men cheating on their women with her before but I never thought she would hurt me like this; ME of all people since I've been with her through all her problems and mine. I'm not necessarily mad about the kiss as I'm mad she wanted to try and have sex with a guy I was obviously in love with, not to mention COMMITTED to. Since my boyfriend and I broke up a little after that time, we got back together and are now happier than ever, so I'm not really concerned about my boyfriend cheating, since I've learned not to be so head over heels and I know I can live without him.I haven't spoken to my old friend yet since I literally just found out, but I don't even know if it is worth it; I don't think I ever want to be around her again. Plus, this incident was in late July and she just gave birth to a baby with her ex. How do I bring this up with her, and if I don't how do I avoid her? I've never been betrayed like this before.
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best friend, broke up, fiance, got back together, her ex, smokes Reply to this Question
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (7 December 2010):
 I wouldn't bring it up. She knows she was wrong and frankly, you two should stay far away from each other. Your friendship is over and your friend betrayed it. If she comes up and tries to talk to you like nothing is wrong, just say you know what happened between her and your boyfriend and you have nothing to say to her.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (7 December 2010):
 There is no need to bring this up to your friend. Just ignore her, she is not worth your time or thought. As for your boyfriend who you are supposedly in love with, what has he done to ensure something like this never happens again? Has he stopped casually smoking weed? You may be able to live without him and in a way that is good but if this relationship is going to go anywhere, he should be focusing on bringing the two of you closer and making it up to you otherwise, there really is no point in this.
I hope that helps.
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