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female
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anonymous
writes: I really like this girl that i know, unfortunately we are both girls. I heard these rumours that she was a lesbian and got my hopes up that she might wanna b with me, but then she said she wasn't. Recently she's been makin jokes, sayin that i was a lesbian and that she was my girlfriend. She made a joke earlier yesterday that if any1 asks how far we were in a relationship she would say we done it all, kissed, hugged, had sex basically. She is really nice and pretty and smart and i really like her, i always think about her, fantasize about her, look at her. She mostly watches me aswell and i really like it when she says things like 'ye ur a lesbian and i'm your girlfriend'. We have become great friends recently and gotten really close, i want to tell her i like her but i dont want to, if u no what i mean. I really like her and i want her to be mine, i'm not a lesbian cos she is the only girl i have ever liked in my life. I really want us to have more than just a friend relationship, please tell me what to do cos if i tell her what i want my friends will reject me and if she rejects me aswell i wont have anything! HELP ME
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (1 June 2006):
 Sounds to me like both of you are not sure of your sexuality and the idea of being with each other is nice but neither of you are ready to make the first commited move.
When we are young we try different things with different people and sometimes the idea of being with someone of the same sex is very appealing and exciting, sometimes it is because we want to experiment and other times it is because we actually are gay and when we have our first sex relationship it feels right.
Dont be afraid of fancying her, but dont rush into anything as it may just be a crush.
Relax and if the time feels right then let her know you like her and see what she does, she maybe waiting for you to make the first move, she maybe afraid, or she may not trust your discression.
A
female
reader, camille +, writes (31 May 2006):
 This is confusing. You're not a lesbian and thought she was, but now she isn't you're upset, yet you aren't a lesbian either?! See? Why does she keep calling you a lesbian if you aren't one? I don't quite understand. It's not possible to tell whether she keeps talking about you being her girlfriend because she can tell you like her, or she likes you but one thing I can tell you is, I am very close with all of my girlfriends and they never joke about being my girlfriend even when we held hands as youngsters! It's a weird thing to joke about and jokes sometimes help cover up truths. Maybe she does like you, but the next time she makes a joke, maybe catch her out and ask her why? Or ask her if she wants to be. You say you like her saying it, but that may be the fantasy part of your head, I'd be inclined to suggest that you really think about what she's saying and see it's not quite right or as nice as you think. Your friends don't ned to know, but you do, perhaps it's time to have a chat with her. Explain your feelings but be gentle in case she doesn't feel the same way. If it helps, you don't have to a lesbian to have a crush on a girl or find someone attractive or love being with them. It's perfectly normal but it may be a short lived thing (same if it were a boy) so have a think, maybe give it more time.....
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