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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I have just turned thirty, seem to have the most perfect family ever - well let's just say someone had to be the black sheep - i just do it well. Two weeks ago I met a guy through the internet. Wwe met and I thought for just once it might work out. He invited me to a wedding. I went last Friday and I haven't heard from him since. I just don't know what I did wrong, I just know I can't go on with this happening to me all the time. Please just tell me what I should do now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2005): I'm a strong believer in the saying "Actions speak louder than words". When a man really is interested in you, there is basically no excuse him for not calling. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing nowadays, there just is no plausible excuses. My hunch is that if he really wanted to call, he would make the time to call sooner, no matter what. Perhaps it's time for you to move on. Don't give him more than he's willing to give you.
In a nutshell, it seems like you felt something, but he didn’t. Remember, it takes two to tango. If he doesn’t sense the chemistry, let him go and move on. Don’t take it personally and don’t try to force it. Know this for a certainty, true Love will find find you. Don't be hard on yourself..if this guy had some backbone he would've ended your night by being honest with you and saying 'nice to meet you' and walk away. Instead, he took your phone number-letting you know he may be interested in further dates. Best to carry on with your life and get out there and have fun. If your still not convinced, then send him a very friendly e-mail (no flirting!) and tell him, "thank you" for the nice evening. Keep it short and sweet. If he doesn't reply after 3 days, then don't contact him, anymore. Save your self-respect, forget him and please do not phone him. It's likely he's just not interested. Time to set yourself loose to go find the one who is. Good Luck and and enjoy life and get out and dates others. Have fun
Hugs,
Irish
A
female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (6 September 2005):
The protocol of internet dating is somewhat different from "normal" dating. Usually in "normal" dating where you have met the person beforehand, the first dates are usually just a formality, and it's often a forgone conclusion that you will begin dating.
Online dating is governed by different rules (I have tried it myself and found it to be quite a strange way of conducting dating!) where meeting the person leaves you and the other party under no moral obligation to see each other again. However, the fact that you've made it to a date, and a wedding at that, would suggest that this guy may be interested in more than a couple of casual dates.
You've now given him a few days "contact" time, I think that it might be an idea to get in touch with him. It is probably best to contact him via email, or text message (phoning him might catch him at an inappropriate time, or put him on the spot) ask how he is and mention that you enjoyed the date on Friday. That way you place the ball firmly in his court, and implies your interest without you losing face if he rejects a suggestion to go out again. He may have been genuinely busy and simply not had time to contact you.
If he doesn't respond by the end of this week, unfortunately you may have to write him off. I'm often told by my happily coupled friends that Prince Charming is just around the corner for me, so hoepfully he will be for you too!
All the best
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