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female
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anonymous
writes: Please help. I posted a while ago about my long distance boyfriend of two years, and how he never arranges to see me - I have to do it all, and feel like the nag because I am always saying "Oh, you cant do that weekend as its our weekend" or "When are we next going to get together as we should see each other every two weeks..." AGHHH!!! SICK of it.So on advice from you guys I decided to NOT do anything this time around... and guess what... we are seeing each other this weekend as planned ages ago but have nothing else in the diary at all until I go over for a wedding at Christmas. Normally we'd have at least one other trip booked. I havent said anything and things between us other than that are fine, but WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?!?! Surely this is proof that he really doesnt care about seeing me at all. I am determined not to back down and ask him about it. Surely he should WANT to see me, be worrying about when he will see me and making plans??Please, let me know your thoughts, I would love some input.xxxxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): With two years in to a long distance relationship I would have thought you guys should be well on to planning to take steps to be more permanently together?
I don't know the full background to your relationship, but I would have thought your boyfriends lack of interest at this stage in your relationship is, perhaps, a sign that he has a far more relaxed, casual view of it and does not intend to make things any more seriously. Whereas you want more. Understandably too.
I completely agree with Baby Girl, maybe that is because she is my lovely girlfriend and I am thus bias, but we absolutely LOVE spending time together but because of certain circumstances we don't get to see each other as much as we want but we both make sure we remain strong by communicating well and other things we know the other person likes.
The thing with long distance relationships is that there has to come a point in the future where you either break up, or you take things further and you stop being a long distance relationship. Personally speaking, I think if myself or my girlfriend stopped being focused towards the relationship and a future together we would both mutually end things because, otherwise, what's the point? Long distance relationships can be lonely, and hard at the best of times, but to worry that your partner doesn't have any time for you is unacceptable, you deserve more. If your boyfriend doesn't show how amazing and important you are, ditch him and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve. He should WANT to spend as much time as he can. I think you need to have a very good talk with him and find out what he sees happening in his future and how you, and your relationship fits in with that. Don't accept any excuses, find out how he sees things, I think your answers will be found in his reply.
Good luck with whatever happens :)
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