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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 19 years old. In February this year I split up with the guy I had been going out with for 18 months. We were living together in my parents' house for over a year. He was abusive both physically and mentally to me, but never in front of my parents. I still stayed with him to save the embarassment of having to explain to people what was going on. I have always been a strong person and when I finally ended it I felt a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Shortly after this I lost contact with him and he moved out of the flat he was living in. I assumed he had left the area as he has done in the past. I have since moved on and am in a new healthy relationship with a great guy, though it took me a while to trust him. However yesterday I met a friend I haven't seen in a while and he told me that he had seen my ex in the city centre recently. I feel very vulnerable now all of a sudden and don't really know what to do about it. When I believed he had left I felt in control and that I could move on and get on with my life, but now I am scared that I am going to bump into him when I am on my own and I won't know what to do. I still have nightmares to this day about what happened. How can I move on? I have no way of getting in touch with him as he has changed his mobile number.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2005): In my opinion you should tell your boyfriend what had happened with your ex. You both should decide what to do. If you feel unsafe you need to move out of town, there are so many beautiful places to live where he could never find you, or you can stay and face him strong. Only you know if you are in any danger.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2005): It seems that you have not gotten over this young man. You need to see a professional before you weaken and expose yourself to more abuse by contacting your former boyfriend. You might need closure, but could risk falling back into this relationship by seeking closure. Find help fast and keep busy with things that you enjoy doing and spend lots of time around family and friends.
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