A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My ex split with me for someone else a year ago now and at the time I was devastated. It took months for me to start to feel better again but I still havent met anyone else and dont even feel attracted to anyone else.Over the past couple of months I have found that the pain and jealousy I felt had faded alot and I no longer cried about it. But yesterday I found out that my ex's girlfriend is now pregnant and they are over the moon.All of a sudden them feelings of pain came flooding back to me and I found myself in tears. I feel so depressed and also terrified of seeing them together and with their new baby. Its tearing me apart especially as when I was with my ex, he was the one I wanted to have kids with. The way im feeling now has made me wonder whether I still love him or why would I be feeling like this? All the time I keep hearing about how happy they are together and how much they love each other and it really hurts but people dont realise that because they think that I am over it and have moved on. I just wish more than anything that that was true.Now im seriously considering moving away as I feel that living in such a small town and having to see them around will destroy me. Im so angry with myself because it took me months to get over the initial shock and pain of him dumping me for someone else and when I finally felt happier and stronger, this happens and Im back to square one. I now believe that I never did get over him, I just learnt to accept the fact that they are together and he wont be coming back. I know people will tell me to go out with friends and enjoy myself and this will help me get over him but even when I do that he is still in the back of my mind. The thought of falling in love with someone else seems impossible and that scares me even more. If it wasnt for my money problems then I think I would move away but I cant and it feels like im going to be trapped in this feeling forever.
View related questions:
depressed, jealous, money, my ex, trapped Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2006): When we love with all we are and then have to experience the loss, it is very hard and very painful. What you are feeling is valid.
It would be hard to feel dejected. It would be hard to see them together happy and fulfilled as that is what you thought you would have with him.
Mourn. Cry. Hurt. Anger. Mourn.
Then pick a day when you will pick yourself up and move on.
Perhaps moving is a therapueitc way of healing. It is a new start.
You will only be trapped in feeling that way forever if you choose to do so; you still are feeding the hurt and anger over it all.
You are capable of loving again and will do so in your own time.
If you pray for strength and for some peace, it will come.
Work to have a kind thought for her and the child. Work on forgiving.
You will heal.
This doesn't help you now but know that I am wanting you to be happy and overcome this sad time.
You're a woman; you're a survivor.
*hugs*
|
