A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been dating now for 2 and a half months. I'm a very jealous person and I get easily upset when he tells me he's going to be hanging out with other girls, and I'm not there.I don't like to sound like I'm controlling him but we always fight because he's been hanging around with this girl. I do trust him but sometimes I get thoughts of "what if he's cheating on me?" He gets mad at me when Ia approch this to him because he feels like I don't trust him. And also I feel like we're drifting apart because he doesn't treat me like he use to. =( Help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2006): You contradicted yourself. You said you trust him and also have "what if" thoughts. If u trust him, you wouldn't have those thoughts. You're insecure, and you can't help it for whatever past experiences you had. I have a friend that is pretty much the same as you. Her bf has many female friends, as well as an ex that he's very fond of in a friendship sort of way. It's been 6.5 years since I've known her, and 4.5 years since she's cried about her insecurities.
This is really something you can only solve on your own. Even if he reassures you with action, you will never be able to let go of those thoughts unless he completely get rid of all his female friendships.
I suggest you dig into your past and try to work it out from there. Once you find the initiation point, I also suggest you share this with your bf. He can possibly help you indirectly as well.
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