A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey there! I have been in a 4 year relationship, we have talked about getting married and being together on many different occasions. We are each others first loves, I have dated other guys prior to dating him, but he had not. Recently he broke up with me, telling me he wanted time to be on his own and that he didn't want a relationship, i was sad and heart broken for about 2 weeks when i then found out that he had slept with another girl while we were still dating. I haven't seen him in about a month now, and just saw him yesterday, i was sick to my stomach at the sight of him, to think that i loved and cared so much about that person, and he turned around and hurt me so much! I can't say that i don't love him though and i miss him even more. I think that he does need this time to grow up, i am pissed that he cheated and the way he lied for so long. This is also his first time on his own, he's on an internship, (he had asked me to move with him, i did and when he broke up with me i moved home.) we made it through the whole going to different colleges and all but this is his first time really on his own, with 3 room mates who party nightly (i feel that is a big reason he is acting like he is) he is a totally different person then who i dated for 4 years. Until recent i was the one who wanted to talk about this but now im not sure. I'm so confused!! i thought i was going to be engaged by Christmas, my whole life is turned up side down. I want to be with him. I need some good advice on how to go about this!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): you have been hurt deeply by this man, whom you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. he is not ready for marriage or even a steady gf, i think he just want to sow his wild oats for now. you may still love him but the best is to mourn the end of this relationship and then move on. you need a man who will not cheat and a man who will honour his words. this ex is neither. so maybe cry your last tears and make time for yourself. start enjoying your life responsibly,think positively and live your life to the fullest. you may be loney and missing him but you should never settle for being second best. value your life, your values and do not ever let a man trample all over you. one day the right guy will be knocking at your door and you will be ready to love again.
A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (13 August 2009):
He just isn't ready to marry, would you have rather he marry you then decide he didn't want to be married. You guy's are young and he did the right thing now he should have broken up with you before sleeping with the other girl. I don't the other women has anything to do with your relationship. I think he realized he is young and he needs to live the single life for awhile. I am sorry you are so hurt but you need to move on the relationship is over, now you should take the time to find yourself and what direction you would like to go, now if you still want him you need to give him his space to live the life and I guess wait and see if he wants to come back. It sounds to me like you have hitched your whole future on to this boy and that is not right you need your own future outside of him girl get started .
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