A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I've been in a relationship with this guy for 3yrs., we met on a dating site, he lives about 3hrs., away from me. The question is 1. He always has an excuses for not visiting on holidays(says he dosen't like to drive on holidays, its too dangerous), 2.He dosen't always answer his cell phone, nor does he answer his text messages, says he left his phone in the car. I finally met his children after 2yrs. of dating. The last time we went out was to a funeral last may.,2010. 3. He always has an excuse for everything, I invited him to my class reunion last yr, he had an excuse, invited him to family gatherings for weekends, bus trips, to the Saints games, and etc. 4. He says 3hrs. is so long of a distance away. Last yr., not a Christmas gift. what should I do? i really thought he was the perfect guy at first., we both are widowed.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 May 2012):
 I'm glad you figured out what you want for yourself and that he isn't it.
Good luck! You deserve better!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 May 2012):
 Congrats to you for entering a new stage. Thanks for the update...
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (9 May 2012):
 I'm so happy for you, what manipulative user and loser..I look forward to you finding happiness with others. Take care!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is a follow up to I thought he was the perfect guy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear Cupid, I thank all of you who supported me, I am no longer involved in this relationship after four years.Two months ago he had knee surgery and we both agreed that I would be there ( out of town), for the surgery and afterwards to assist him during his recovery. He texted me a pic of him on crutches, I was furious, he told me that the Dr., had an opening and ranted to know if he wanted to move the date up. He didn't tell me about the change of schedule, so I suggested to come and visit that weekend, he said he was going out of town because his daughter was having emergency surgery that Sat., and he was going to stay as long as needed. So I finally blocked his phone #'s, and finally blocked him from my life, I'm glad I did. I've had enough of his lies, and I haven't missed him., thanks for all of the advise. He texted me once telling me about blocking his numbers out. And for me to be blessed.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 January 2012):
DO NOT GIVE HIM YOUR SOCIAL!
do not make any legal commitments with him.
honey he's not worth the air he breathes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all of u who helped me. This is another long holiday weekend, and still no visit from him, just a phone call,. last weekend he played a disappearing act for the weekend, comes Monday am., he calls all happy and wanted to talk, he told me he needed my social to put my name on the Deed of a house he's about to buy, I asked why, he says he wants to co-labor with me,. Now we have someone who's not making any comittments but whants me to have my name on the deed of his house, and to co-labor with him, ok I might b a lil slow, but I'm not stupid. so what do u think of this?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 January 2012):
Six months after you asked you are still at it with him… it’s so hard to do what we know is right isn’t it?
I get it. I do. My heart aches for you that you are so torn and think so little of yourself that you feel you are worth this lousy behavior from him.
A man that wants a woman will make a commitment in about a year TWO at the MOST. AFTER three years there is no commitment from him and YOU DON’T TRUST HIM….
“I really enjoyed you” is a euphemism for SEX. I hope if you are having sex with this man you are using condoms… have you had STD testing? You should.
Should you approach him? NO
Should I let it go as nothing happened? NO
So what is your best option? WALK AWAY FROM THIS MAN honey… he has at least one girl besides YOU maybe more….
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thought he was the perfect guy, i relly love him , but after 3 yrs there's no commitement, and yet i'm concerned about if there's any trust. I visited him on New Years's Day, while he was working i checked his phone caller Id, i notice 2 females numbers listed twice, I also found a greeting Card from one of the females listed on the ID Box. The card reads as follows, I really enjoyed you, let's do it again tomorrow. I was furious and upset, the card was hid between bks., on his his bookshelf. Should I approach him, or let it go as though nothing happened?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): This was over long ago.I can imagine how lonely and disappointing this has been for you. The next time you're in an unhappy situation don't wait so long to do something about it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 June 2011):
Umm... this is NOT a relationship.... you are rowing a boat that's sinking...
you saw him over a year ago... he's ONLY 3 hours away?
Hon my boyfriend lives 2 hours away by car if it's not rush hour... it took me nearly 3 hours to get to him yesterday then we turned around and drove 2 hours back to my place so he could be here for me for some surgery I am having tomorrow... I go see him or he comes and sees me nearly every weekend.... 3 hours would just be ONE More hour in my drive time...
he is so NOT the perfect guy... he is NOT that interested.
STOP ROWING this relationship boat... let him call you, let him text you, let him suggest dates and getting together, let him email you etc... see what happens but be prepared to cut him loose...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2011): It sounds like he has someone else, but in any case he is not giving you what you want and things haven't moved on in all this time, so let him go is my advice. I know it's hard when you have hopes, but at least you will be free to find someone better instead of putting energy into him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 June 2011):
Seems to me you are are being "used". It it's convinient for him.
As for not answering the phone/texts.. *shrug* he may be one of those people that just don't text a whole lot.
No Christmas gift? WTH!?
And no DATE? in over a year? Sorry, I would think he found someone closer to home.
*I'm sorry I jsut don't see the two of you having much of a future together.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (22 June 2011):
May 2010? and your last "date" was a funeral? It's over I'm sorry. I don't know why he didn't end it like a man, but you need to start looking around for someone new. If he loved you he wouldn't notice the three hour drive. Hell, he'd move in with you. I'm sure it's lonely but ultimately you'll see that you're better without him.
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