A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up a month ago. We'd been together 3 years. Completely out of the blue he sat me down and said that although he loved me, he couldn't be with me, I wasn't making him happy. I genuinely didn't see it coming - everyone used to say we had an amazing relationship that they were envious of, we lived our own lives and didn't hold each other back or stop the other from doing anything. We were friends before we got together and we had a very strong relationship - or so I thought. This afternoon I have discovered he is with someone else. That hurt me enough, until I found out a bit more about the girl. She looks virtually identical to me - although she is painfully skinny and im more curvy. He used to say how much he hated fake girls - all the tan, lashes, fake hair and nails etc - she is all of this. He used to say how he hated attention seeking girls that put half naked pics on facebook and then went on to say they felt ugly/felt depressed just to get attention - she does all this too. He is chasing a rugby dream and recently signed a professional contract. Her last facebook status said 'why cant I be snapped up by someone famous and become a wag?' and all her statuses are like that - fame hungry and attention seeking. Im devastated to have lost the person I believed to be my soul mate, but I hate that hes got straight with someone who is everything he said he hated. I don't know how to handle it.
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female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (8 May 2013):
 Simple: he lied to you about his preferences OR he simply didn't feel as strongly about those preferences like he made it seem. It also could be that he now wants to play in the the tan, fake lashes, scandalously dressed pool. Another option is that she has some personality traits that over-shadow the negatives. We are after all people and even the worst person has at least one good trait. Her pros may just outweigh the cons.
A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (7 May 2013):
 Whoever he goes with it will be difficult. You could feel better that she is probably a re-bound girl. Move on, get out with the girls and have some fun yourself. Easier said than done I know but you owe it to yourself to try. :)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 May 2013):
 You handle like we always advise: stay busy and occupied, force yourself to stop looking at his and her Facebook pages, go out with friends and be visable, no moping around the house. As far as his new girlfriend being everything he said he hated just means he changed his mind or he really wasn't telling the truth to begin with.
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A
female
reader, Tenderlovingcare +, writes (7 May 2013):
 Maybe for now, it's your time to call up the girls and go out and have a good time. Forget everything, just remember your friends because they will always be there in the end. Your situation sounds horrible and I feel for you but by the sounds of it, he has made his decision and the worst thing you could do to yourself is dwell on it. x
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